A letter from October 26th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey Boo, You prob. didnt miss me hehe but im back 13 year old you almost 14. So im here to spill you with drama, and remind you what you been through. Remember the guy who hurt you, and how mom moved to Texas with him and has your sis. Have you seen em if so how are they. Remember abusive step mom Jennifer well now (ex step mom) who took your other 3 sisters. Have you seen any of em? Did dad and you won court case? Remember you brain tumor you had have surgery? Have you went to get MRI scans? look im just here to say, Take a breath. Look down at your two feet. Where are they right now? Look around you. Do you see nature? Go touch the leaves. Pick a flower and deeply inhale its beautiful fragrance. Do you hear birds? Stop and take a moment to go listen to their music, because not everyone is so fortunate enough to be able to hear and enjoy that experience. Do you feel the sunshine on your skin? If not, go step outside and be grateful for the fact that it is constantly shining down on you, and that you are alive. Go take a bite of something delicious and savor every moment with absolutely no concern around any kind of weight gain. Not everyone is so privileged to have access to food, so superficial aesthetics should be the least of your worries regardless of the deep societal impositions. How have you been of service to others today? You spent your whole childhood yearning to be an adult, impatiently waiting for the rite of passage that would grant you the maturity, respect, and validation you so desperately sought. Now that you’re an adult, all you crave is the sweetly uninhibited moments of play and lack of responsibility that childhood granted you. Life isn’t a sprint, it’s a long race and you’re not in it just to “win.” Be gentle with yourself. Be messy sometimes. Let it all go. Embrace all of your learnings and cherish your experiences because they truly are divinely fated. ENJOY IT. ALL OF IT. You will have enough time to do everything that you love, so stop stressing so much. You miss the beauty when you are stressed. Be here now. Hug those around you. Ask them how they are doing, and truly listen (without plotting your response at the same time). The inexplicable sensation of true connection and understanding is the best feeling in the entire world. Money is just a number. It comes and it goes. Love is the true currency. No one lives forever so be sure to cherish every moment, and when they pass and when you pass, find comfort in knowing that we are simply souls within these bodies, and we will all be connected at some point again. Life is a gift, not something that is a given, so enjoy every second while you’re here.