A letter from October 25th, 2020

Hey you. Another vent haaaaaaaa. So I like this girl right? Yeah she's cool. I even described her to Jacob, "Omggggg I literally can't stop thinking about her and when I do I just have a strong urge to hug her, **** just listening to love songs while thinking of her made me blush. Hhhhhhhh I mean it's something to look forward to, my last class, seeing her and hugging her then when we got to the bus we hold hands Then hug again bc yes Makes me so *insert heart around face emoji*" It's just so weird because she acts like she would like me, at least more than the person she likes now. Sucks because the only reason she likes her is because she looks like her ex. I mean I understand (not really) but just get over your ex man. I was just so- almost in love with her and now? Just hurts. I don't even know if I want her to like me back. Being the second choice. I asked a friend to ask her about this and she said she didn't like me yet she would still date me if I asked. Like why would I want to date someone that doesn't like me back and has feelings for someone else? Not trying to bash her or anything but her logic is just a bit off. Honestly just **** me man. Catching feeling was all my fault, I could have prevented that. But nah. I just sunk in deeper. And now...****. I love you, JJ. But **** that. I'll be sinking in deeper though and that part ******* sucks. Fml.