A letter from October 14th, 2020

Hi, how are you? There's so much time since I last wrote you, but I fell like I'm very much in touch with myself right now, so I don't really miss writing for you that much. If I'm going to be totally honest with you, and I will, this year has been a total ****. I'm felling lonely and stress and I don't really did anything I wanted to do, like lose weight or lose my fear of driving. But I'm writing a lot of stories. My favorite one has to be Marcela's dreams. I love how her and Livia share this very instant connection, I wish I could have that with someone...maybe someday, I don't know. My goal is to have their relationship grow strong and beautiful, but also too fast and kinda scary for both of them. So they will be torn apart, only to be reunited again almost at the end of the book. It's also interesting to think that they were actually never separated, for they meet every night in their dreams. I don't know how you fell about this story, I don't even know if you continue to write it, but I really hope so. Also, I hope you fear less. I just find myself so stuck because of fear, like it's pulling me down in a path I didn't choose for me. But I know I will get through it, not because I believe in myself, but because everyone does it. If they can do it, I know I can do it too. Isabela, I'm so happy to call myself a lesbian. I know we had a rough path in this ********* discovery thing, but I truly fell like I've found my place in it, my word in it. I keep watching videos of this older lesbians, that got married and had kids, only to realize they don't like men at all. Like everything else it frightens me, I would hate doing this to someone, especially a kid of mine. My future looks bright ahead of me. A nice, cute, little apartment, vegan food in the fridge, my wife singing songs, probably badly. Our kids playing in the living room, eating slice apples with peanut butter and bread with chickpeas homemade hummus. At night, if it's thursday, we would watch a movie, maybe Frozen 5, where Elsa gets together with Honeymaren. Maybe even a hole new story, about and actual queer character, that everyone loves. We would laugh at cry and eat a whole vegan pizza, with a good homemade vegan cheese. When we put all three of them in bed, we would read The Hobbit for the fifth time, but they would love it regardless. My wife would kiss them in the cheek, but I would kiss them in their foreheads, like my dad does to me. On the weekends we would go to the club with my mom and dad, and Julia. We would let them run around, but I would never forget to put suns cream on, because I wouldn't want them to get sunburned. I also would work, but a good amount. I would be a great doctor, that puts my patients needs and happiness above all. I would help them help themselves, not even once letting it become about me. I would make sure they know they are the protagonists, and I would happily go through their birth plans and do all in my hands to make it happen as they wish. Then I would go home, and if things didn't come as plan and I lose someone, I would cry at night with my wife, but I would know I did everything I could. I don't know what you're thinking now, but I think you think I'm being naive. That's not true at all, I know it's all very dreamy and quite impossible. But maybe, just maybe, I am meant to have my fairy tale after all. I believe that. I truly do. Isabela, don't stop believe in magic, ok? That's the only thing I hope you don't lose. I will tell you a secret now: I would like to actually publish a book someday. Maybe Marcela's story would be a nice one, but I don't know. At the end of the day, I only hope my stories helps people. Like "Ask the Passengers" help me one day in the past. You know I still send love to people? Differently though. For example, there's this guy in my class that gets to my nerves all the time. His name is Lucas. He can be so annoying, it's kinda frustrating. But the thing is: I know he's a nice guy. I know he's a good person. So I send him love. I say to myself: "I know you annoy me a lot, but I know you're not doing it to be mean, it's just the way you are. So I will try to like you, or at least dislike you a little less. Isabela, I can't wait to see what new animation shows we are watching. I currently just finished Kipo, and I freaking love it. My favorite ones are Kipo, Shera, TOH and The Dragon Prince. I can't wait to live to see what's next. I want a *** prince and a lesbian princess. I want a bisexual hero, that finds themselves in love with two characters, only to end up with a third one, their true love. I want a non binary protagonist, and I want trans main characters, so when my kids are older they will see those beautiful stories and get inspired to be themselves. I want so much, I know, but I can't wait to have it all. I love you a lot, Isabela. You are amazing, even if you don't believe this all the time. Thanks for being alive. With love, Isabela