A letter from October 11th, 2020

Hey future Sav, from Sav of the past. I literally just found out about this website, and thought it was a really cool concept to write a letter to myself for the future. It is Sunday the 11th of October of 2020 as I write this, and i’m 23 years old. Its been nearly 1 month since I moved to Holland for the second time, and i’m writting this from Tempo-Team housing in Weeze, Germany. Remember Weeze? And remember Tempo-Team? And remember sharing a bathroom and kitchen with like 20 people? HAH! Yup, that was you right now girl... At this moment you were working in Holland but living in Germany. Crossing the border everyday from one country to the other, which the trip from home to work takes like 20 minutes which is pretty cool and really not as dramatic as it sounds. You were working for Rituals in Arvato, and the work was not too bad. I would say it’s pretty easy-going compared to most job offers around here. But what can I say? I dont want to be here at all, and I miss home, and I miss mum, and just my life in Spain. I felt like it was more of an obligation moving here this time, because finding a job in Spain was just not happening and of course I have all my bills to pay every month and staying in Spain just didnt seem like an option anymore, at least for right now. I have an idea of staying here until April, at least until I save a little bit of money. But maybe I will have to stay longer if the stituation in Spain with Covid doesnt get better. At this moment there seems to be a Covid Round 2 coming in a lot of countries. Madrid has declared a state of alarm for the second time only a few days ago. I dont really watch the news anymore, too much negativity, so I dont even know what is really going on. It doesnt seem as dramatic as last time and I guess everyone is more prepaired, but its still so **** and affects so many things in so many ways. I miss normal life, and I hope by the time you read this letter Covid is not so present in your life, and just in the world in general. I hope this pandemic is something that you talk of as part of history. If not, sucks to be you and I feel really bad for you. As of now it is still really present, with a lot of restrictions, and life doesnt seem the same at all. I wonder if it ever will be or if you are still walking around wearing masks. I wanted to fly to Lisbon for Christmas but Germany has closed borders with red countries and also created a lot of new restrictions for travellers coming from everywhere. Like taking a Covid test 24h before flying into Germany to show at the airport upon arrival, or doing quarentine which of course is not an option for me because I need to go to work. Hopefully by the time you read this you will be in Spain, and will have found the stable job you were looking for for so many years. One that you enjoy and gives you the stability that you did not have yet, and were desperately craving to find. Hopefully you wont be far from home, and if you are far from home, hopefully its for a good purpose and because you actually want to. If you havent yet changed (which i’m sure you haven’t) then I know how much you hate change, moving around, and the unknown. So I hope you are at home feeling blessed and taking a moment to remember these times that were a little hard and VERY unconfortable for you especially being 23 years old. Remember them as times that helped you get to where you are right now, which is exactly where you need to be I guess, no matter what the situation is, and i’m sure you are reading this letter for a reason. Maybe a reminder, I dont know. Lets talk about money PLEASE. Have you managed to get your **** together and save money and create a bank account that is a little nicer to look at? Because as of now you are pretty much BROKE AF. I hope the situation has changed and you are a little bit more financially stable. I really really hope so!!!! Abdeslam is right next to me as I write this. Thank god for that! I hope he is still in your life one way or another, and if he is not then I hope its for a good reason. I hope you are not having to miss him, but no matter what the situation is just remember the great support that he has been to you, even if it was once upon a time. Also the great times that you lived together, which I hope you are still making more amazing memories together, travelling, making plans, or just LIVING but doing it together. I also hope that if he is still in your life you have learned to love eachother a little better and a litte wiser. That would be nice. I hope you have learned to love a little better in general. Thats also important because as of now your little heart is not 100% healed and still has trouble loving right sometimes. I hope you are a little more confident with yourself, dont overthink so much, have the right people around you, have life a little more figured out and just feel HAPPY. I want you to be the happiest that you can possibly be. Remember to love yourself and see the best in every situation. Good luck, To Future Sav, from Past Sav.