A letter from October 9th, 2020

I'm going to write here what I should write to you but I'm not brave to do so. You're right, we shouldn't speak to each other. I'm in love with you and speaking to kindles my futile hope that we might one day be together, settle down and have that family I drunkenly told you about. I'm too scared of losing you, the vacuum that will leave, how much I will miss you. Worst of all, I'm not sure I do want to stop loving you, no matter how unrequited (or partially requited) it is. One day. I hope I learn to let go, to bury my hopes and face up to a life without you. I just can't do it today.