A letter from October 7th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I'm currently missing PastMe. The fun loving Me that was up for anything, the one that was full of hope and aspirations. I'm hoping that the FutureMe is doing better than the PresentMe, who's drowning in memories of places and people that don't exist anymore. If you're still into K-dramas and Anime (which I'm sure you are, especially with my current unhealthy obsession) my hope is that you come to terms with reality. The reality that there is no perfect person out there. Everything in life is a trade off, we trade money for love, love for time, time for happiness. But I've always said that happiness is relative and I hope by now you are somewhat happy. I used to wish for happiness every year on my birthday, recently I started wishing for peace. Well, for me to be at peace with who I've become and who I'm still becoming. I hope by now you have your life together, or at least have some semblance of it. (RWBY) Jobs are a dime a dozen but careers and life paths are hard. I've changed many jobs so far and I know by now you've changed many more. I hope you at least like the people you work with if not the job. As for school, I'm not sure you should pursue anything further. I want to right now, but it's not really practical and costs way too much. *sigh* Home life, maybe hope you've come to terms with some of your demons and hopefully got more tattoos. I hope by now you've taken that trip to visit your friends and at least decided/ planned where you'd like to visit next. Honestly, I just hope you're still around and doing okay. I usually take everything in stride but it's easy to get caught up in life and forget about the little things. This is your reminder to STOP...take a few deep breaths and call that old friend you haven't talked to in ages. I'm sure they miss you as much as you miss them. You're just both too stubborn to make the first move. If by the grace of God you've decided to try relationships again, God forbid you decide to settle. (I really hope not) Please choose someone who's life aligns with yours or at least someone who is hot and mean (those are unlikely to cheat). I really hope you haven't gotten addicted to anything, we both know how slippery that slope is...*sigh* If you're stuck, this is a reminder that you weren't always where you are today. Some days were good, some days were hopeless but you survived. I sincerely hope the passage of time was kind to you. Nice is overrated, kind at least saves your soul. Reminder: You will get through this (however bad it gets), You've probably already been through worse (yes we both know it's true), You're still alive (there's always a chance to change), You are more than even you know (no one gets to define your worth or what you're capable of), You deserve all the good things in life (even if you have to claw at the world and get them yourself), You are loved (self love is hard, especially coming from the place where we came from, but it's not impossible). Finally....I know I said this was overrated, but I do hope you're happy. - Love....PresentMe...soon to be PastMe.