A letter from September 27th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I had originally done this once before in 2014, I sent it to myself for my 19th birthday, I had completely forgot. I wasn't smart then and I don't know if I am now. I had asked myself am I who I want to be (from the switchfoot song)? and in 2020, as I turn 19, I can't say that I am. I am more depressed than I have ever been. Maybe in my high school years it was just growing up and things like that, but now. After grandma had passed away and I broke up with my ex, that I can't get over, I truly can't say I am happy or who I want to be. I wish I could but I can't. I hope my future self it better off than I am now, because right now I want to die sometimes more often than not. Everyone seems to be happy around me but me. I have so much right now in life, friends, family, a good job at Subway, I have what I need, but I've been constantly broke lately. Breaking up with her it was hard for me at this time, it truly was. I hope in the future, whatever year it is now I'm over this and not this way. Hopefully I've progressed somewhat in life. I truly hope I get better from whatever is wrong with me. Please let that be true future me, because if not, I don't know how long I'll last being this depressed, being this truly broken inside. I've done so much in life by now and I hope it only gets better from here on out. How was it turned out? Has the future been good to me? How was the world treated me now? I hope it does... In my first letter I wrote don't ever stop listening to Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace, as they are some of the og music, so just another reminder, remember where you came from. Also remember this song, Switchfoot - This is Your life. Remember, this is your life, live it to be yours and only yours. Live free. I couldn't have done it without you.