A letter from September 24th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, As you know, I'm 13 and you and well you are me. I have no friends and I'm in 8th grade. I love art and video games as you probably know. I am recently stressed over covid-19 ans school. My mom says I have been acting not my self and my personality is changing. When I get annoyed with my siblings I say things like: I will slit your throat, I will rip out your spine, I will snap your neck, etc. My therapist thinks shes helping my mom thinks she under stand how I feel but really, no body understands what I feel. I feel like I am worthless to the world. Heck, there's 7.8 billion people in the world and I'm one of them. I also feel alone because when I try to share my opinion or my work, they hasve a short attention span or ignore me. I just want more attention. But other times I want to isolate my self since I have been feeling empty lately. Is it just me or do I see figures in the corners of my eyes sometimes? Also SometimesI have ********* thoughts when I am furious or humiliated. Like I said I like video games. It helps me escape this world and let me be me for once like the REAL me. I love games like Roblox, Among us,and well idk. I watch youtubers like Flamingo, KonekoKitten, Dantdm, and well idk. Ii also love to sing but I'm shy but i pretend I'm not by ignoring and try to be happy. I want to becoem a youtuber since I want to entertain, be loved,and other things. But it wont happen.. Right? I am Sensitive and insecure about how I look and it affects how I am. Idk if I am the same in 5 years or different. Will I be famous or alone still? Will I be rich or averge? Will I be sane or insane? I want to know it all! But this is reality and cant be done.. I hope you or me get this letter It was fun saying my problems to me or you. From Justice Hale Johnson