A letter from September 22nd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I am today living in the most difficult times. Every thing is so strange it feels like I am in a movie, a very bad hyper dramatic movie. It’s the infamous year 2020. We are nine months into Corona, I lost my job, I am almost losing the love of my life, I am going through what might be depression and I am a friendless loser. I feel so little, so lonely, so insignificant and nothing seems to be going alright in my life. I fight every day, every minute to stay sane, not to lose myself to depression, delusion, anxiety and panic attacks. I try to remain in one piece, not to fall apart, to be strong and put together. Everything seems a lot to handle at this moment, the smallest thing is a battle. I might be exaggerating, maybe if I would look at myself from a third prospective, things wont seem so bad. The problem is that this is an ongoing problem, I see no light at the end of the tunnel, its all so dark at the moment. Muna. The love of my life, the person who makes me sane now has no tolerance for me. Her tamper is very short and we fight almost daily for small stupid this that I don’t even understand how they became a problem to begin with. It breaks my heart that we have been on this turmoil for a long time now and I do understand that this is not healthy for any relationship. I hope I get out of this ordeal with least damage. I hope I can survive. Mona Alaradi 22/9/2020 Alone sitting in freej bin Rashdan rrsturant for the first time in my life.