A letter from September 19th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, It’s 2020 now, I’m sitting in the couch watching the 220th movie of the year, it’s called Amour and it’s french, do you know how to speak french already? It’s September and I’m starting college in 4 days or so, on the 21st. I played the game Among Us with my friends (Isabella, Maria, Cardoso, Ana Flavia, Luquinhas). I’m listening to the song Kids - Current Joys and getting emotional, right now the whole coronavirus thing is so annoying that I just spend all my days watching tiktok and cross-stitching. I just read the book Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. Hope you’re reading a lot. (I wrote this last night and right now I’m in my bed trying to make the whole thing a little bit better so you can really connect with it, I’m listening to Roslyn – Bon Iver and the weather is cloudy, the Pantanal fires reached São Paulo and messed up the weather, I hope that it’s not a common thing in 2026, I hope the people rebelled against this ****** government and learned how to respect nature.) I’m sending this on your birthday so you’re extra emotional, 24 huh? You’re old! Way too old… Tiktok right now is the only thing that really makes me enjoy life, I just spend every ******* day watching these stupid trends, your past self is literally obsessed with this guy on Tiktok called Mason Ellen (@basonbellen - look him up) I feel like I couldn’t be more in love with anyone, I hope you’re in a good relationship right now (maybe with him lol) and he won’t care about me talking about him. But he’s really everything on my mind rn, probably because I’m bored. I’m always watching his videos or lives on Instagram. I’m listening to some artists right now, Sublime, Mac Miller, Kanye West, Frank Ocean, Grimes, Slowthai... are they ok? Did Frank Ocean drop any good stuff? We only got Channel Orange and Blonde... I’m looking forward to start university but I’m also disconnected with it, I don’t wanna spend 5 more years here, there’s nothing great here man, look at the size of the world... I hope you don’t think I’m stupid for feeling like that, it’s what my heart is telling me... I need to escape, I need to change, I need to lose 10kg, I need to grow my hair longer and start wearing cooler clothes, I need to star enjoying *** more and being more carefree... How many of these stuffs have you accomplished? The world today: Pantanal is burning and also the Amazon forest, you probably remember since 2020 was so ****** up... being honest I don’t think it’s gonna get any better from now on, we are just gonna destroy the earth more and more, I hope it’s not awful in 2026 or whatever year you’re reading this. Some trends on Tiktok: There are some really funny stuff like the Poland memes, sneaker meetup, New York summer, etc. I use a VPN to watch the US tiktok bc the brazilian one sucks. Everything is about the WAP dance right now, if I had some energy, I would dance to it but I can’t. Another funny trend is the “I like you don’t give a **** about your boyfriend...”, that’s it. I’m stupid for writing this but I want you to remember who you are, read this while listening to Kids - Current Joys just like I wrote it, maybe also Ghost Town - Kanye West (also Beach House – Space Song), you need to feel kinda free. Visit your old dreams, your dream of being an international analyst or diplomat, working for the UN, moving to New York and dating Mason from Virginia. You’re still just a kid, if you’re depressed or sad, there’s more to the life you’re living right now, you have NO LIMITS, don’t let mom or the rest of the family tell you otherwise, I hope they’re OK. I haven’t gotten my room yet, still waiting to get my own bed and hanging posters on the wall, I think I’m gonna hang a Led Zeppelin poster, a Pink Floyd one, a 2001 one, maybe some paintings by Monet, a world map and maybe a skateboard mirror? Also hang the LED lights I bought, they really bring the room together. My favorite movies are Chungking Express, Pride and Prejudice, 2001, Howls Moving Castle, etc. You already know these because I know you and I know you think they’re basic now lol. I wanna ask you some stuff, if you haven’t done these stuff yet, please stop and go do it, you can’t disappoint your own past self... Have you learned French yet? Or at least Spanish? Did you finish college already? If you didn’t you have to do it asap and please PLEASE move to New York… I know New York is not cheap or whatever (if you became a super radical communist in college then you hate the USA and their imperialist culture, idk Izzy, that hate is not good for you, you know English and the US are the best ways to escape this world and maybe try making it a better place for other people), it’s probably not even the best option for you right now, but you gotta escape Brazil, at least São Paulo, you have to dream, you know you’re gonna meet better people out there in the world, you know there’s someone out there that’s perfect for you... Maybe global warming destroyed all cities by the ocean but idk move to Paris or something, Italy, Hong Kong, Buenos Aires, London, just leave this town. If you moved to New York or somewhere else, how is it? Have you gotten a cool job? Is your house cool enough? Are you studying? Are you smart? Do you still love International Relations? Is that your major? Please tell me you love what you do, please tell me this... you NEED to love what you’re doing, don’t sell your soul to a stupid job in a cubicle. Are you still a Marxist-leninist? A beg you, please keep on being a communist, you need to believe in the hope that it brought you, the clarity you felt when you noticed that the world’s biggest disease is capitalism. I beg you one more time, you can’t say **** it, you need to believe in the hope and love there’s in your heart. Please don’t settle, listen to the song, follow your dreams, they’ll keep you alive inside. Are you still arrogant? Are you still too proud to admit you’re wrong? I know you’re, but keep it in mind, you’re not perfect, you have way too many flaws and it’s ok. You need to work on these stuff Isabella, please try to be a better person, don’t be ******, racist, homophobic or transphobic, love is all you need in your heart, the other stuff will come off easy. I hope you’re not in jail or a member of the bourgeoisie, if you’re a famous actress or movie director that’s ok, but exploiting people for a living is the most disgusting thing I can think of, I would be ashamed of you (except if you’re in the mafia or smth). Are you ***? I don’t know was never sure about that… lesbian? Future me, there’s still a lot to improve, if I’m being realistic you haven’t met the one yet, you’re still trying to know everything and lazy as ****, grow up, go out, please understand that life is way too short to settle for an easy and stupid life, you need to have courage, you’re not Pam Beesly or something. Do you still smoke weed? That’s cool, keep on smoking, if you’re addicted to it just settle for cigarettes or something else, don’t try crack or meth. What’s your aesthetic right now? Granola girl? Hippie? Please be cool... My style right now is like skater girl but not really because I can’t learn how to skate, I do like street wear and Vans clothing lol. Did you learn how to skate already? Five years is a lot of time, you were hurt a lot, you had a lot of fights with mom, you met ****** men that made you feel like ****, I really want everything to be OK right now, don’t be a coward, you can always escape and look at the world from a different perspective. You’re not the depressed type, so if you’re depressed right now probably something hurt you a lot, you can always run away… Is Bonaldo still in power? What about Trump? Did you start a revolution already? Do people call you Izzy? Isa? Bella? What do people call you? Did you make new friends in college? Was UFABC the college you really wanted? Did they arrest the ******* of Breonna Taylor? How’s Palestine? Are you a vegan? Did the Celtics win any championships? We’re in the Conference Finals right now, will probably lose for Miami Heat or the Lakers... I hope the Lakers don’t have more titles than us. Do you still like cheesecake? Are you religious? Don’t be a fanatic, God loves everyone and he wants you to be happy, he knows where your heart is at. Have you ****** anyone? Are you still funny? Just wanna ask you how some people are right now... How are your friends? Is Avelino ok? Sena? Kelvin? Maria? Thais? Cardoso? What about your crushes/exes? Kaio? Seiji? Winther? Just wondering... How’s your cousin Fernanda? Is she still cool? Did she graduate in Geography? Did she go to New York with you? Is she still with Murilo? Is grandma ok? Is Mia still alive? Is mom in a better job? Did she get back with Alexandre? Is she married? Is he rich? Is she still smoking cigarettes or weed? Do you have a baby brother? Please say no. Do you have any tattoos? Please tell me you have a Latin-American tattoo... Did you get that nose ring? What are the cool new technological stuff? Can your phone fold already? Do you have an iPad or MacBook? Is there a new pandemic? Have you met him yet? Your significant other? Is he loving? Does he like cats? He needs to like them, he needs to love the beach and be outgoing, he needs to enjoy good music and maybe good movies, he can’t be a right-wing idiot, racist or ******. Does he think you’re the prettiest woman on earth? Do you guys fight? Is he handsome? What’s his nationality? Does he like traveling? Is he open minded? I hope 2026 is going well, hope you already saw snow and love someone, hope you’re in a good job, getting a Phd or Master’s, I hope you’re fit and dressing well, hope you have a cool hair and learned how to love. Hope you don’t relate to Janis Joplin that much. If your life is **** right now, if you’re in an abusive relationship or a broken household please leave, it’s ok, nothing is real dude, we’re all gonna die! Go play some Minecraft or something, it’s ok! Life is short, you only live once, etc. Go skydiving, swim with sharks, go camping, do mushrooms, date someone that’s interested in every detail about you, even your weird music taste. Adopt a black cat, a Pitbull! Read Marx, watch The Office, exercise, don’t do coke it’s embarrassing. I know my plans are finishing college and go hitchhiking all over Latin America, being realistic you probably haven’t done that yet, but save some money, invest it or something, and go travel, traveling is the best thing there is in the world and you know that, you need to visit every country in at least all South America, it’s not that expensive and if you’re making money in dollars it’s even better. My phone is still an iPhone 8, I’m writing this on my Dell laptop, it’s pretty fast (16 gb RAM) but I wish I had a gaming PC, do you have it? Do you like video games? Do you have any kids? I hope not… I created some scenarios in my head that might be your life right now: 1 – You haven’t finished college yet, you like your education but your life is pretty much the same right now, it’s the most realistic one. 2 – You dropped out of high school to get a better life, moved to another country and you’re happy as ****, working hard but feeling free. 3 – You decided to get education in another country, finish it somewhere else I don’t know where, this one is great, please get a Master’s or Phd. 4 – You became a hippie and live in a Van, good for you. 5 – You got pregnant or something, stayed in this ****** country and accepted life as this ****** thing it is. Go **** yourself. Here are some things on your bucket list you haven’t checked yet: - Live alone; - Having a car; - Watching someone die; - Watch someone being born; - Get married; - Show up on TV; - Go to college; - Play the drums; - Play the guitar; - Get a tattoo; - Watch the snow falling; - Be in an ambulance; - Having a kid; - Plant a tree; - Travel abroad; - Ride a motorcycle; - Ride a camel; - Fly in a helicopter; - Donate blood; - Go to the movies by yourself; - Go scuba diving; - Travel by yourself; - Leave your town; - See your sports team win something in the arena; - Make a good action to someone in need; Just so we can finish this once and for all, you’re amazing, school will be hard, almost impossible, but you can do it, you’re smart, you’re a good person, life is too short to worry about what people are thinking, you can do it! You can work in a cool job, get a cool degree, live by yourself, get on a plane and LEAVE! Love, Your Past-self https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/159yiSl5O1T9H5jdpPddglSmJ5Rq8KPbH?usp=sharing