A letter from September 2nd, 2020

Dear Future Me, By the time you read this, life will be very different for us. If you completely forgot about this letter, it will come as a pleasant surprise. You will hopefully have just graduated university, or still be working on it, having just turned 22, and will be moving on to bigger and better things like travelling or a job. Five years is a huge amount of time, and I hope you’ve done a lot of worthwhile things in that time, like ******* some real bad ******* and doing drugs but also reading a lot too. I should probably give you an idea of the state of mind I’m in right now. The date is Wednesday, September the 2nd, 2020 and I am sitting at grand-mere and grand-peres dining room table. I’m super tired because I woke up early when we were at Ironlock yesterday and I have a headache. My birthday was a few days ago and I will be starting my senior year in 6 days, and I’m pretty excited, since I haven’t gone to school in almost 6 months. It’s pretty uncertain how normal this year will be because of the pandemic, and I hope that you still aren’t dealing with it once you get this letter. I realize that I don’t actually have many problems right now, but I’m still relatively miserable. I am talking to a girl named Ariana, and I’m unsure if I like her or not, which is a good problem to have. We had been talking on snap for about a month and we’ve hung out twice, one of the times being an official date. She has plenty of good qualities; she’s super cute and nice and smart and funny, but I still don’t know how I feel. I don’t feel excited by her. I talk to her and it’s nice, but I don’t know if I’m really having fun, or if I feel ******** attracted to her. By the time you read this you will know the outcome, and also probably have a lot more experience with this sort of thing (god I hope you aren’t a virgin). I feel like my life has been pretty mediocre up to this point. I’m still a virgin at 17, I don’t really party, but I also don’t have amazing grades. I have friends, but I feel like I don’t hang out with them as much as I could or should. I don’t really do much. I read a bit and I write a bit and I like to watch movies, but I don’t do anything interesting for myself. I would like to be working on something or to be aiming towards a goal or to spend my time surfing and playing basketball and partying and ******* and eating cool foods and going to cool places. I don’t have a bad life, but I feel like I have a lot of wasted potential, which you should be capitalizing on by then. For example, I know I could be ******* at least two girls a week, right now. That number has got to be at least ten by the time you read this. I’m just boring right now. If you’re still boring then I don’t know what to say. Get on it loser. In all seriousness, nothing really matters. You don’t need to be anything. You might be in a bad place right now. I’m here to tell you to hang in there. I’d much rather have a life full of ups and downs than one that is comfortable. No matter what, stop thinking so much! If you’re anything like I am now, this is probably a problem you don’t even realize you have. Just do things, man. It doesn’t really matter if it’s the right choice, the fact that you are doing anything at all is a good thing (within reason). You need to make mistakes. Live a life full of activity and not passivity. And it helps to have a direction, something I don’t have right now. I also really really hope you don’t still live in H. Hopefully you are planning on travelling places or already have done so. I don’t have many goals, but I really want to live abroad somewhere for a year. It doesn’t matter where, just anywhere with a culture completely different from here. Keep on learning. I hope you still read philosophy, and challenge your views as much as you can. Never feel set in your knowledge. You are probably reading this letter thinking about how little everything mattered when you wrote this letter. Remember that it’s the same now. Your problems will take their place in the timeline of your life. Just keep living, man. That’s the most important thing. With all due respect, Me