A letter from August 27th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hi, what's up? It's 14 years old Sharon here. I just wanted to check up. It's going to be a while that's for sure. Well, did COVID go any better for you? Mine isn't. It's getting worse and worse. America is having the worst record yet. I- well - "we" were supposed to go back to France to have a proper look at things and visit my unnamed boyfriend and his brother with his friends. Unfortunately, The virus came, and with trump not helping with improvements, making America look like ****, well we can't go to other countries to visit🙄😒🥺😞. And to make things worse, I think my mental state is starting to fall effect again. I start to Imagine things and to pretend to be someone I'm not. Literally I think I am hallucinating to be someone else and actually feel their emotions. I don't know if it is the cause of my depression or If I'm just being dramatic and delusional. But the weird thing with me is the fact that it is the only thing that keeps me locked in my world without using color paper or pencil. I got those privileges taken away from me when mom caught the drawings of My plan project for my series of Gacha club of Royale High School. I wanted to make my channel on Youtube of Essie Ge, which I hope you will eventually achieve. But back to that, I got my privileges taken away, making me lose connection and proper respect for mom, and Respect for my mental health. I am put in a pressure that I have never expected. But then I figured that there is another way for me to express, it's through music, dance, and Hallucination. I act like the characters I imagine, it's like my own little world. A world where I can express my thoughts without breaking the peace, keeping myself in Secret and in silence. Like my instability and my secret life wants it to be. The good thing about it is, when I do it, I feel alive within myself. Acting like Shamalya Guintini (A heroine in one of my hallucinations and Fantasies) a girl that greatly reflects me in a way that is super dynamic and Emotional. She is from my favorite show at this time, called The Boondocks. A ***** based show made by Aaron McGruder (A real Genius) upon his base opinion of black comedy and his opinion between different types of black men. If you forget, the main characters of the show are Grandad Aka Robert Freeman and his two grandsons, Riley Freeman, A public 8-year-old menace and younger twin brother by 2 years of his 10-year-old Brother Huey Freeman, which is a retired domestic terrorist. He is my favorite out of the two and he is the Hero of my hallucinations and fantasies. Shamalya (me) and Huey end up being together and live really happy, but kind of complicated relationship. That will be my next series for my youtube channel which I hope you eventually make. Anyways, That is my little world that I connect myself and lose myself in with the music and dance, and my sanity with my true personality is closed off from the world and not bothered ever, I hope. The bad thing about it is that sometimes it can go out of control and it can actually get to me that it will make me lose myself and I actually tend to think that I am Shamayla, which is not true. I act like her and sometimes I have her emotions and I start to lose myself as Sharon, and I even called myself Shamalya. If you forget her than she is a Rich 10-year-old black activist who is famous for talking in black matters, is a singer, and is a gang member from the most dangerous facility in the world(of the "boondocks") called NAFA. (Naw-Fuh). She was a powerful elite, a child of beauty and strength, a little girl with a big demeanor, was loved by the world, and was a leader of a group at the age of ten in the game but a poor mental stance. Here parents, Luna Guintini and Dante Guintini have died on her at the age of three because her dad has ******** mother and Her dad committed suicide as soon as he shot his wife. Before she died, she told Shamalya to grab all she had and run. Not knowing what to do she ran and obeyed her instructions. She ran from her home in North Dakota to Alabama for months, until one day she was found by two NAFA Gang Members who will soon be her new parents, named Niyasia Sutton and Vonte Sutton. They found her and took her in and she became a member at 4. She has Bipolar depression and was diagnosed as a 1- year-old. As she grew older it became worse, since the stress of fame and formality cant meet her standards on how to get through her mental health. She copes with it though. You can read my story on Wattpad of SGBlackgurl called the boondocks a Shamalya Story. I act like I'm here and I know I don't have a place to belong and It hurts. Let's just hope my depression gets better by the time of 2025. Is everything okay up there? Any improvements. let me know okay. Remember me. Let's hope the school year for college is back to normal, okay. Thank you for reading this. Remember, do your best to be better than best, and no matter what, you are beautiful okay. Love and hate ya. Sharon Gambou (From 9th grade).🙂😅😶☺️😕😏😒😣😌🖤🖤🖤🖤🤍🖤🤍💙💜💔🙏🙏🖕🤙🤟🤘✌️🤜🤛✋👊🙍🙋🤸