A letter from August 27th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Well, if you see this, then you're one ******* hell of a human. You survived this ****** life. I thought you couldn't hold on, you wouldn't hold on. And that you have ****** yourself by now. Yet you're breathing and reading this **** right now. Are you okay now? Nah, will you ever be okay? Did you finally find the will to live? Probably. Probably not. But I bet the latter. Where and how the hell will you ever find it? You know I always you'd never have a future. I never saw it, not once. It was dark, so I thought, "Ah. Maybe I'll die early, and finally leave this ********." But look. You're reading this. So how did you keep on going on? Did you find someone or something interesting that made you keep moving forward? Or people still order you around and push you to keep moving? I hope its not the second one. I hope it was the first one, even though I know you'll maybe never find the will to live, at least something keeps you moving forward. And I hope one day that that person/thing, will be the reason why you're still living. Why you're still breathing. And finally, you'd find yourself loving life. But if ever you died before even receiving this. I hope you're happy there. I hope someone finds it and reads it for you. Coz you know, they'll know why you wanted to leave, and be happy for you when you're up or down there. If you ever die, I want to know what is it like dying. Tell me, okay? Goodbye and see you again!