A letter from August 19th, 2020 (backup copy)

Dear FutureMe, Hey, what's up man! I hope you forgot about this by now, and that this email will come as a surprise and a breath of fresh air in the midst of whatever you're doing today. I'm writing you from 6 years ago, on August 19th 2020. Basically in the middle of the COVID pandemic that's been going on since February. I've been inside for months and months: doing schoolwork, practicing my French, working out... just trying to stay sane I guess. Life is okay, and I've been stable thanks to my good habits. Being positive is hard, but I try. Time is going by really fast. Really, I haven't done ****. I haven't been hanging out with people, going out of my comfort zone, or exploring around Texas like I wanted to. I've been inside trying to stay responsible, avoiding spreading the virus. I see people outside having fun with their friends all the time, I see YouTubers in Paris with their friends talking about stuff... I don't exactly feel FOMO, but moreso I find it hard to believe that I'll have those crazy cool experiences. It just seems so far into the future and difficult to achieve you know? I know this period will end though, and eventually normal life will come back. Just gotta wait... This whole confinement period I've been tryna figure out how this **** is gonna work. I've been spending an hour every week researching how to get a French visa, planning my next trip, looking at schools, etc. I wanna have those crazy *** experiences in another country and really be out of my comfort zone. I wanna live life in another country, explore new places, meet new people, speak new languages, develop as a person, and all that ****. It's a dream I have you know? A rich, fulfilling youth. I see other people doing it and it kinda makes me feel bitter... because I can't do it right now. I also want to express myself and BE myself... put myself out there, be creative and really TRY SCARY ****. I'm just so afraid to be like that. I've been thinking about making a personal YouTube channel just as a creative outlet for all my ideas, but I've been too scared to actually start. If everything goes according to plan... you should be in France. You should have a job in video production or multimedia, working somewhere that's at least interesting and fun. I'd like for your job to be fulfilling and enriching, but that might take a couple more years. I'd imagine that you have a good group of friends that you met there, maybe your own apartment, and you'll probably be living life more than I am. I dream about this **** from time to time, but idk how it'll all look in reality. I hope that you're still going out of your comfort zone. Keep doing that. Keep trying and daring to do **** that's scary. It pays off. In any case, nothing ever goes according to plan. Idk if you ended up in France or not, or even if you stuck with Digital Media. Maybe you've discovered someone or something that took you somewhere I never would have imagined. That would probably be more interesting anyway. Tell me about it, will you? PS - Don't forget your cynical/punk/critical attitude about life. It gives you fuel. (I'm already losing my idealism, and I wanna keep it a little longer. ) PPS - I love you.