A letter from August 19th, 2020

Hi, future me :) How's there? What's my future looks like? It's quite hard right now :) August 19th, 2020, and you're gonna get married in two months. You were so scared, couldn't even get a proper sleep. Did you remember? You cried almost everyday. Eating up your feeling like it's a punishment. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you, all these years. I still don't know how to. I'm sorry I couldn't get up from bed and couldn't stop myself from crying. It was scary. You feel so powerless. If you could, you would just ran away and hide but I'm glad you didn't. I know you were trying to get strong even though it was so hard. I'm glad you're still here. You're still here, right? Thank you for not giving up. How was the wedding? Did you get married at least? How's abi and umi? I hope they're as healthy as right now. How about you? Are you happy now? Did you stop beating yourself up? Did you accept who you are? Did your dream came true? It's been five years, how time flies.. I hope your days are filled with laughter and joy. Remember that I'm still here, rooting for you. Remember that your feeling is valid. Deep down I will always love you, no matter how hard I beat myself. If you can see and read this, that means you're a survivor :) You're always worth it. You're always loved by me, your old self who is always trying to be the better version of herself. We can get through anything. I promise you, it is worth it—Well I hope so too. Smile :) the storm gonna end very soon :) Love, Your old self.