A letter from August 17th, 2020

Dear Future Me, Before I start, I wanna say happy birthday, woman. Things hit like a bus and surprisingly, (and hopefully) you're still alive! Just don't think that you've gotten any worse, your freshman self reminds you how much of a pearly pack of packaged horse dung you used to be. I am going to start with the reminders that can apply to many, (or that I think apply to many) so that people who come here to see something don't have to read my long **** tangent. So with any further adeu, let me begin to remind you of a few things you should hold on to: Also: since this is public, if you choose to read this, my notes can apply to both me alone in certain aspects, but many can also apply to others. No matter what you may be, and where you may come, I applaud you for simply being alive. Life has shown me that if the world doesn't **** you, sometimes you have to fight to make sure YOU don't **** you. So, I applaud you, me, future me, and everyone, for simply being alive. Okay, now lets actually begin here: First thing, remember mom's little 'make the bed to fix my head' thing. She used to literally HARASS us until our bed was made. It seemed really, REALLY stupid over such a simple task. But nonetheless, after age 12 we just decided to skip the sarcastic jokes and just make the bed as soon as we got up.. After listening to a speech, I think I know why she made us do that. Sure, making the bed is something so overlook-able, and kinda wonky (Silly for those who don't understand 14yr old stupid words), But it was a task completed for the day. Having ONE thing done for the day can sometimes push you to do more, and soon that can become a lovely, successful day that you don't have to mourn the lost 24hrs you wasted on YT, sleep and roblox (If you still role-play on roblox, maybe you moved to second life IDK) And hell, even if you DON'T do much, and/or you fail miserably, you get to sleep in a soft, comfy bed that doesn't look like a rats nest made of blankets and plushies! Wo-hoo! Second thing. During the summers, mom used to put us in those little summer camps by the YMCA. Flat Rock River, do you recall it? You know, that really nice one with the blackberry tree bush things that we could eat berries off of, and the long extents of archery ranges and forests? Also the one with the spider-ridden church that we used to torment other people with the wolf spiders while the volunteer workers sadly attempted to read kids bible stuff? Yeah that sack of bull, but still a really nice memory to have. I'm not sure if you remember Millie from all that, the fellow creepypasta fanatic that we made OCs with. We kinda worked really hard on making a christian camp fun, 'cause even though that Millie actually WAS christian, she still got bored of it sometimes. At least, I think so. We tormented kids with the wolf spiders, we got the elephant plushie and stuffed it with leaves to make the "weed elephant' that we mercilessly screamed about for the rest of the camp. AND we dealt with Sky, that kid who beat us up and then got upset that we didn't want to be around em anymore? Ill have to tell you, if you really want to get through boring and effort-stealing bull, make sure you've got someone to pull you through with. Life was never meant to be a single player game. Next, maybe remember middle school. Because HOLY JUMPING JESUS ON A POGO STICK, I'm surprised I even lived through that. Specifically remember Brody. Yeah, that butt-wrench that I'm going to hope you don't hate as much as you did when you wrote this. He literally held onto something that wasn't true for THREE AND A HALF YEARS. And likely, he's gonna continue to do so. Though, I can't blame him for disliking me, I would hate me too. I was, and still am, a really weird kid. I used to growl and chase people like an animal for sheer fun, and I procrastinated and fell SO far into depression that nobody could count on me. Maybe you feel like that too, those not-so-long 5 years into the future. But remember how we're still alive. Or, at least I'm still alive, after what happened with all that. And remember how kids like him, they felt the need to spread word to the whole school that I did weird things THREE YEARS ago. And then proceed to act like it just happened. I don't know what happened with them to make them feel like that was the way to handle a hatred, but on to the point here: There's gonna be a lot of Camdyns. There's gonna be a lot of Brodys. But look at what you've survived, and what they might have survived too. Don't ho,d them to their necks in mistakes, because you've done thing to screw up too. Follow through with everything humbly, sometimes sprawling out and spitting rage isn't the best idea, and take the people who tormented you as examples of such. fourth thing. Be careful with what you let affect you, dove. Life is certainly no joy ride, and everyone has to fight to NOT get consumed by the negativity. Remember Karl's start. I'm not sure if mom is still with him by the time you read this, or if anyone or either are alive, but still take time to remember. His alcoholism fueled not only his own downfall, but also ours. He's put that bull into his body, and he'd go off on tangents, tell us to off ourselves and sometimes even come in physical contact with us. And, substance abuse isn't the only thing that can do that. People fill themselves up on the hatred and "cancel culture", and the constant complaining, and then they don't have time to think about all the good, the solutions, the vibes. Sometimes you've just gotta sit back and relax for a second. Take in the vibe around you, and if its not a preferred vibe, get into a cozy blanket and MAKE some better vibes. Also eat chocolate, that's one good thing to consume too, and I'm sure you know that one already. Another person(s) who you should remember, don't you remember all the roleplay gangs? As of now, the current ones are Dragons, Flip, 5th, Izzy, Herm, all of them. You should really remember those guys, because depending on series of events, they'll likely be gone by the time you read this. Just, learn a bit from them. From those amazing people. Dragons is such a friendly person, upbeat and carefree. They had those "babey" kind of vibes, and always was a blast to be around. Learn from their kindness. How they always took everyone's opinion as valid. How they never used language as a weapon, and spoke very kind-like and happy about everything. And Flip, the kid who was intelligent as hell. A fellow gamer geek, and your first internet crush. They were very well spoken, and didn't voice themselves as openly as most. They were mature, but still absolutely lovely to be with, and extremely trustworthy. learn from their maturity. Their reserved natures to sometimes be silent and listen before you give your own input. Learn from how they were honest, and let themselves be whatever they wanted, and didn't let anyone tell them to be different. I hope, I sincerely hope, that I can keep those people in my life. And sometimes it's best to try to keep the good, even it it takes a lot of effort. Now onto a more personal note, Don't you EVER, E V E R forget the Skyfall comic. As much of 'just an imaginary world' it was, It got us through a hell of a lot more than any person we've ever met, and like more than any person we'll ever meet.That world is out coping mechanism. You don't like the life of what we live, we can always escape to something better. Somewhere that accepts you for who you are, mistakes and all. Somewhere that understands that sometimes the pettiest little hardships can really change someone's look on life. A world where it didn't matter where you came from, or what you are. All that mattered is who you choose to become. Specifically this line, one that we wrote for that video game project that ended up becoming the "bootleg" of Skyfall in itself: "Who are they? They are the wanderers of this land. Not like us, though. They are unique. Always looking for adventure. They are who they want to be." They are who they want to be. That is ALL that matters. Inside the lands of our mind or not, that is all that matters. Change is hard, and it *****, but in the end, it will be worth the effort. Remember the characters you made to be able to remind yourself of who and what you wanted to be, and how they changed to reflect that. Remember Spectre, the duke who represented anger. His family was completely trashed, following Urstegav, a father who hated the child that ****** his wife. Spectre had adapted to the point where he was mean and cruel, just as a way to survive under his own family. It didn't help when the whole "angels vs demons" required Spec's service, and ended up not only taking his wings and aether (basically the energy that controls his 'superpowers'), but it took his heart. It took everything that made him feel proud or happy, and it turned him into a bloodthirsty demon who was feared along every universe. Remember Kyle, The boy who saw. He lived a life being the support of everyone else, only mattering to people when he was required. He was used as a rebound and eventually committed suicide after being broken for the last time. He didn't die, but was rather remade. He became a spirit of Aywah, a pure-souled spirit that was given freedom and care by his own imagination. Remember Aaron, the raging fire. He was brought to a power display as the rest of his town was, discovering their element of magic. The power inside him was great, and had amazing potential, but the fire that his element brought destroyed those around him He forever mourned the town that he'd destroyed, simply because others provoked power that they could not control. Remember them. Learn from them. Learn from how Spectre could be tamed and calmed with something as simple as one with a gentle touch. Learn from how Aaron calmed the fire inside, and learned to take things as they come, and adapt. and Learn from Kyle, how he chose to be kind, and save, rather than to be defensive, and ****. You built them, they are always there, accompanied by so many more, and many more to come. They were right to call you over creative, to call us over creative. So here, have a list, since that's a whole riot of text to go through. 1: Make your bed every morning 2: Find someone to vibe with, and to pull you through 3: Don't let walnuts that attack you keep you down. 4: Don't eat the hatred that people shove to you. and DON'T let IT eat you either. 5: Keep good people in your life, and learn from those around you 6: Let your imagination save you sometimes. 7:Its okay to be anger. Throw things, cry, lay on the floor, whatever. Once your done, clean up and get back up. you don't belong down there. 8: Learn to adapt to hardships and consequence, don't let it hold you down. 9:treat everyone gently, and with kindness and patience. And most importantly: Be who you want to be. Yes, your 14yr old self just wrote you all this lovely cheesy stuff while bawling her eyes out and listening to minecraft and undertale music. Love you, dove. ~Devon E. Johnson