A letter from August 11th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I hope I still have the same email account by the time I get this, but who knows. I really wanted to write this because I worry about the future too much and I think to write all that I want for myself in the future will help me not be so afraid of the unknown. It is currently 8:49 pm, August 11th 2020. I am 17 years old and were still kinda in the midst of a pandemic. I am listening to Let it Happen by Tame Impala, I literally cannot stop listening to the guitar riff of this song. Right now, my plan for college is to go to Columbus state and then go to Ohio State to finish then get my masters. The majors I am currently deciding on are Biology, Environmental Science, Zoology, and Anthropology. I think I may double major, I hope we do because I want to have a broad range of education. I hope I get my masters too, I will be the first in the family to do so. I hope we also get an okay job, at least enough to live on our own. I wonder if I fallen i live by the time I get this letter, I hope we do. I am really afraid of being alone but I also fear attaching to someone because I know if it does not work out I will be devastated. I don't want to end up like mom and dad. I want someone to love me for me, tells me I'm pretty, likes star wars and marvel, loves animals and nature, and love each other so much that we can't ever get enough of each other. I know that sounds pretty dramatic but that is the kind of love I want and if I can't then I would rather be alone I guess. I wonder if we ever had any kids, right now I am kinda iffy on the subject. I really want to adopt because I want to give back and take care of those who can't. Be able to provide a healthy and happy life for them. I think if I did have kids I would probably be much different then mom and dad, but I am worried about my temper and patience. I hope I am a good parent. How is mom and dad? I wonder how old Carsyn is by now. I am too lazy to count. How about Cody and JT? And Alyssa? I am so worried about her, I hope she will have a happy life too. I want to speak to her so badly but I know Robyn won't let that happen. How did the corona virus pandemic change the world? I really hope it didn't change too much. I hope were in a better place mentally because I feel like I am in a really dark place that I can't get out of. I feel so alone. I want to be with someone I just want to feel loved and wanted. I really hope we have accomplished this. Stay strong Julie girl <3