A letter from August 7th, 2020

Dear Helge, Happy New Year! Amazing but in a week you are officially 22, so, let me congratulate you or me. We've done a great job to escape from the **** we had. I tend to think you won't remember these times when you had to cry a lot... feel pain in your heart, be depressed because... you know, you had much toxic mom who always yelled at you for no reason or really tiny mistakes you could make, you had a lit. sister who was unrespectful towards you and let herself be much rude to you even if you tried to be nice with her.... you also lived in a country & society where your ideas weren't popular and moreover... the society was corrupt so much, so you got, that you don't really have a chance and decided to work on your own. I hope you're living there where we wanted to live. In somewhere in Northern Europe, Canada or anywhere else where you wouldn't have to feel sorry for being a bi or a ***, where people more appreciate you, not your good statements about them, you've done your bachelors in Germany and now graduate with Master degree. Keep working, that's nice; make new goals and reach them. Life's about to experience, not to spend it in one place. Mate, despite the good life you have or are going to have, please, remember that you were from very toxic community with abusive mom, with no father, with a sister who hated you, with no friends and never, I mark, let your childhood destroy yourself and your life. I'm in your past and asking you to be happy. At least, happier. Make really great friends, find your boyfriend or a girlfriend whom you'd be happy with, help people around you because you're not the one who suffered from these problems and never regret what you have done in the past, okay? You know, nobody really tried to help you or become more closer to you now but it's your duty to help anyone else and have relatively nice life. No suicide, no smoking and no drinking, you won't survive long after that. I won't tell you why but... you know and can feel it. Never ever come to Uzbekistan, your birthplace, it's still not good as it was and I doubt if it's getting better, okay? Enjoy the life. It's what I deserve but I didn't get. I worked hard. And I'm sure I won. Always move forward, become better and never give up. Remember the friends you had: Lenny Mougel (France), Timo Bernard (Germany or Scotland), Leo (now Belgium but originally from Italy), Nils Lüthi (Switzerland), Sven (Österreich), Loxi (now Laos but from Austria as well, probably in NZ), Albert Alcoceba (Australia, NSW, Werrington, Victoria Court), Jia Ming (a. k. a. Marcus, Singapore), Jack (from Deutschland, Hamburg), Jack David Henry Warner (a British one, he promised u a cuppa to prove you're gonna be better than him), Roy Daris (Nederlands), Thomas Bandin (unionist from Wallonia, Belgium). Yep, have a great day.