A letter from August 4th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, How are you? Are you still with him? Are you finally happy? How’s river? You’ll be 21 reading this. How was your birthday? I honestly don’t think I’ll be alive in 5 years. Life has been beating me at the knees.. every time I get happy somthing happens an my world is upside down. I’m not loved. Only reason I’m still here is bc my horse river. My life. My joy. All in that horse. You have amazing friends. But are they so amazing? You’re there for them but when you need them most theyre gone. Seems stupid wrighting this. But if you’re still fighting for your life when you read this. Share your story. Help others. Don’t care what they think. Be you. You live once tell them you love them. Do that thing that seems crazy. Have fun. You’re young once. Plz live your life like it’s the last day... you never know when your last day will be. If river is no longer around just know she loved you. Don’t give up after she passes. She’ll be in your heart. Not the same as being in person I know but she was happy. You have her the best last years of her life when everyone else gave up on her. She loves you kid. Did you ever get your dream pali? If so how is she! Is she everything you hoped an more!? If you’re still not into horses then what happen? Why? You loved them since you were 3! You grew up in the city an wanted a horse since you can remember. It’s in your blood. Are you a roper? A barrel racer still? A sorter? How are you doing in life? What’s your fav song? Right now mines somtimes things just fall apart. Well I hope you read this.