A letter from August 3rd, 2020

Dear Future Cassy, I hope your life is doing better. I hope you won't feel useless anymore. I hope you won't try to take your life away anymore. My life as of today, August 3,2020,is not doing well. On that day I was accused of making the laptop fall and made a dent which I didn't do. Mistakes that my siblings make when mom isn't there is blamed on me. Every time I hear that were going to our house,I always get exited because I wanna be there living with the people whom I wanna be with,but my mom and my grandmother wouldn't allow me because there's no food there,kuya will just make me take care of his children but I don't care. Chloe does not need an adult to take care of her anymore and Ethan has a yaya. I know that there are a lot of problems going on in that house but I don't care. That's the place where I feel safe, no one would ask me to do anything,no one would get mad at me. That's why I feel safe and that's where I feel safe. That's where I don't want to **** myself,that's where I feel loved and that's where I feel like I'm free to live my life. But I can't. I'm mad at them cause of that but now when your reading this,I hope your there in that house or mama already made a house in Banawa. As of now I really want that but aside from that I want my own room. I hope now or this time your reading this,you finally feel free to express the pain you had in your past,tell the people what you want to tell them and have friends that you could talk to anytime. My life as of now,I wanna be dead. I want everything to be over,the pain,the thoughts that makes me go crazy and life. I'm tired. As of now,what I'm thinking is I don't think you will be reading this today but if you are, congratulations! You fought all the pain,the hardships, and all the crazy thoughts. Always remember that no matter what happens, even if daddy is not there physically,he is always there for you. That's one of the things daddy told me at this time in your past. "One day you will be free to do what you want to do,be where you wanna be" also one of the things daddy told me. As of this time of your past,a lot of problems are going on in the house. I wish I could help to their problems but I can't. I can't go there whenever I want. The virus is all over the world,a lot of people got infected,I wish I was one of them,I wish none of them died but me,I just want to die cause I don't want the pain to continue but since your reading this now,I don't know HAHAHAHAH. I always laugh but inside me,I feel like dying. But thank you for fighting. I know from your past self you have passed a lot of tough times but thank you for fighting. Love yourself. Never forget that you are here on earth for a purpose. God made you and made those hardships for you to learn to fight and be strong. You are special. I'm saying this now from your past self because I want my future to be better than now. I want to smile real smile not fake smile. I want to laugh real laugh. I want to be happy not forced happyness. I hope your dreams will come try or halfway through in this time you are reading this. I wish you good luck to your future self. I hope you will learn a lot of things and prove the people who thinks you can't do simple works wrong. Be the Cassy that God made you to be. Successful,strong,and all those things. Thank you again for fighting,for being strong enough to be here in the present reading this letter from your past self. Be better than your past self. Live your dreams. Don't be afraid to speak up anymore. Express your feelings. Live life to the fullest. Remember your worth. Never forget that there are people out there that loves you. As of now in your past self,I want to ba a performer. I hope at this time your reading this,I hope you could already sing HAHAHAHH. Be the performer you wish to be. Make it a plan. If you feel like no one is supporting you, God and daddy is always there,never forget that. I hope in this time your reading this,there's no more virus. Stay safe always. Take care of yourself. In making your dreams come true,stay strong and never give up. You won't give up if you really want to be what you want to be no matter how hard it is already. Fight like how you fought the hardships in your past. Again people are there for you,the right people for you. From: past self💕