A letter from August 2nd, 2020

Dear Future Me, Happy 20th Birthday! I hope you're enjoying the day. Today I'm a bit lost in my own head. It's really confusing. I started questioning some stuff because this past one and a half week I've been really active on Twitter. Normally I don't really go onto social media that much because, like I said it messes with my head. I have notifications of for every app besides twitter, so I don't miss anything that could be important like the rescheduling of tours and stuff like that. I talked to so many nice people on Twitter these past few days and I really want to continue and get to know them but I think I should stay off of twitter again if it's going to continue like it is today. I just really hope it is just today. The last few days I talked to a girl named Lily and I think it's really nice talking to her, I hope we continue chatting with each other. Right now we're actually in the middle of a pandemic, I had for two to three months no school and after that I had school every other week because only half the class could come. Somehow my grades have still improved. This year was the first year we had grades after fourth grade. On the first report I had an average of 1,7 and now I have an average of 1,4. Two of the subject I got a 1 now are maths and English which I'm really proud of. It's the beginning of the third week of summer holidays and next Friday we are going on Holiday in Rheinland-Pfalz but first we are going to visit Doro for two nights. During that time is also my birthday. I'm going to throw a birthday party after we come back, it is also the first one in a while where I invited Karla to. Do you remember what happen with her? I do and I really wish that it didn't happen because it's just so easy to talk to her, I still remember how we immediately hit off in primary school. Right now I don't really know where to take my life. I'm really sure that I'm going to do my Abitur and after that I want to study something creative. That's what's the plan right now, how did it end? What are you doing right now? Have you had your first kiss or even ***? Right now I definitely hadn't had both, I wasn't even at any point in my life in a relationship right now. But I'm pretty sure that I like girls only. What are your friends? Have you found some new one? Are you still stuck with Leni and Laura even thought you don't really have anything in common? And what is with Sara? I really hope you're still friends with her. Right now she's my best friend and the person who I trust most. She probably also knows most about me. And what is with her dad? At the beginning of his year he got diagnosed with cancer and I really hope he will survive. Do you still think you only like girls? Have you had a girlfriend yet? Have you come out to our family? I really think so, I mean our mother probably already suspects something and five years is a really long time. Do you still like One Direction? Right now I'm still fully into it. Like I said somewhere above I'm not that active in the fandom but all those people are so nice. My favourite right now is Louis, he speaks? the most to me. But when I first got into it, it was Zayn. I don't know why so many people like Harry best, he makes me in a weird way uncomfortable. I don't know, but Louis makes me feel more like warm. A favourite song right now is Airplanes from B.o.B. and Hailey Williams it really speaks to me and gives me hope. Love, Julia