A letter from July 30th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, How you doin!? well,the present me is all messy,unwanted and irritated I`m 16 and a month old now. You know how hard teen years can be , I hope you are okay cause right now Im not .Everyone is all judgy about all my decisions including my school and the course Im in.they made me doubt myself just cause i took commerce.ah!screw them. My friends too arent even trying to help me cope up with my lonliness.They are adding to the misery.My whole life is now a big WTF? Anyway if you are reading this STAY STRONG LOVE. Do not give up easily cause that is what I often do and I regret it a lot. I hope you are surrounded by positive people who might as well give you the importance you give to them;if not its ok .You dont always get what you want and in my case I never get what I want [Im hell of a Pessimist]. As per my plan you should now be in abroad studying Law and also have your own dancing blog [II think of me as becoming an incredible dancer] .I hope you are on the right path. You possibly remember your breakup with your bestfriend like that **** hurts like hell more than my love breakup.well I think about her every now and then.I know Im stupid.who`s your BFF now? lemme take a guess.A boy who wears glass and is the most handsome around.Hope Im right.[these are defo not my preferences ,its a wild guess I promise.] For the brighter side of life,Im still alive battling through a Pandemic. I will give my best to stay the same so that you can read this and idk get a motivation about how life is always a huge disaster and its not your fault . Let me give you some advice.Stay away from stupidity.Friends arent always there for you[sooner you realize the better ].Also not everyone you think is your friend.Dont let people take you for granted.LOVE YOURSELF.Things are gonna get better,believe me the thing you are worrying about right now and crying about it every night isnt even going to stay in your memories the after two years.You might even laugh about how silly you were.Time heals everything,EVERYTHING.Focus on your skin health ,Dont make me look older than I actually am.Lastly when you feel low, have some coffee and watch FRIENDS or Brooklyn 99.I bet youll laugh your heart out forgetting all the ****** things happening then.When nothing goes well in life,take a nap. CURRENTLY MY FAVORITE SONG IS EASTSIDE BY HALSLEY AND NIGHT CHANGES BY ONE DIECTION[HAVE YOU BOUGHT A TICKET FOR THE CONCERT YET?] Hope mom is happy and in great health.Keep her happy ,she is really counting on you.Dont let her down.Serve her right after all the sacrifices she has done for the sake of you JUST YOU and no one else. LOADS OF LOVE ,STAY SAFE AND STRONG.THE WAIT IS WORTH IT. LOVINGLY YOURS LAKSHMI

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

hii my very pessimistic self Lakshmi Aradhana

I am doing wonders after 6 years, I did get into an amazing college and the one you always wanted ya NLSIU Bengaluru....

Emduas eb ad eno htat ul'oly ym all buato iefl ot cgheadn da evrtgheiyn ineocsid nlites setorsi alyler to. Nsiefrd aplce rvey gtrhi woohems was peelpo dna ahve eebn ordaun itrhg wsei anzmgia ckluy time i i in eht dan i heav em. It heolw gtklain i ecah tppdose a wsa htore nad milavkaa ithgn hto ot. No fiel uyo i ilek tsngiya adis gotrsn ma llist oesg. I ni nda gp dysa ainhenc ienthnspri be ot peorid winrigt am egafril a eausc sayd fomr ipsekpd danruo uoy fo i two reyv. Ntwsa htis dna si aet rtse dgo em tahw oaletochc to od atek. Rfo slta ho ysrea ,humc hwsesrik elodv i imh so ot tca nwod his ouy a otw hda. Me so eohp cuhm, i mih ngaai ltisl dfsin eh sims i. Hesat utb nda loev so on i?htgt os it ianga era so aifylm ayw sirset teb tereh ehyrcr tcfa fo dnwtol'u kiel mibas phnpedea own were tagyins we wiht her ad it hmet esid ehomtr tenh i saft kabc unf tsih rmhtoe all ew hucm het nda. Met asbmi how lskei nad we ueasc cyrrhe otbrreh gsdo ahtts. Otw eben amsbi aog s'ahnt osmthn ywaa saedps aetgr. Ciuqk wne lcal eh pup ll'eh a tiudsp got bkac enirsnhitp teem dna ytretp ,byab him my h'serte stihnu og hmi tllshiyg so cuebon tfrae fnu 'mi lera oedaetrp shti is i uiedjrn so ho si eh goann he. Iteopencx lla wrko flie on u,ot oyu teesrh' rhievynegt ehav tub oyu tshi does het see uispdt for nmweo thsr,a enm elik ad rhewe are fmor aodrun ot ehva eliv olyn fro sesgu ufyrol,es etykaawa i eth emn liek ear e,fli ,eogs i. Os lkie frneid **** i im aeml mfa non ugy lal wtan ot to or ym slsae?sg nasrew aer aoky si rieth ehietr uryo ehva egtar fisdenr ewnmo gn hwo rehtptasi uinteqso osmnopi,nac be uoy hiwt btes. Nda rmalon od dfnseir how i aevh *** amel rae. To how oyur nda lli' at tou tenx illt' errmuenctit kwro mi sre'the txidece trltee tuo, so olok nh,mto it ese stnru ersu fro ownk adn eardcs li'l niaga osla. Ritpuce otn eht to erragl veah i kolo dna eypfholul egarc up hte at igve tnltyinsa. 2200 d1 sogn otn da ehva owh maf rmbr dna irs illw og ngso vtforeia rn bobraypl did a a byu is nuf occnret in gelutu yb orf ohtt daleahknta ccenotr dna btu da we ecitkt no ym i uwldo reinnou on sthi v ot i rma i. His eth o'ded aiml ustj ((: 4 herte onlbacy off of died eynap them rea adn won thole. Stru)lgge a(hd ahd ?h?is?t haesd wno wtrhigon a htta ,man ta oyu ryuo w unasescnyre snreaso rokbe hcwih erenv eallry slao ly?tss?e si ffo a rhrya btu hwat nzya htast arfi elki gutdraeh os liek kpic i you sh'e ima fhetar giig a eildk skeep. Wen wiht icost hes' **-re* i ikng rahyr mlbua remo sdoci dan ikss epachr eernlyct eaecr,r eedlsaer tntego ocnllycaisao simuc da ihs itlls vloe tslyes all ,tiem a. Nsiskgi otl have i a eihaavd unf eebn hbrasi. Eth da hnet yhw i in uhg i dan od tetasla job my mi llsit otn ym eehst inhgst ta uot ggtsbei seicff,o otn tnaw iunirggf od rtionacm do rea korw eiorwrs russutip lkei i ot notemm. Me rhgti tno you girnpdoen **** balaaiulvne wkno nad scvear enm torhw at iyngrc utb iltsl ist aotub mi to veidhaa thwa it nto fo do noigolk oyu i ptra. Teh gest rtemoh my is feil is ubt n,efi vsrnee etmi all hscu on. Eyb ayk. Ahev ylk nda llhas unf i.

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