A letter from July 28th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hi there I hope you’re doing well! Before you go on play the Folklore album by Taylor Swift and put on your cardigan that hopefully ended up fitting! Now...even when in the middle of a pandemic life has not been so bad to us. If anything it’s been pretty great, not anything out of the ordinary great but great nonetheless. Know that past you is incredibly proud of you no matter what place or journey you are in life at this moment because above all those things that you may believe to be failures and successes, the biggest win is that you’re still alive! Yes life before now wasn’t so lovely to you but you made it through, specifically junior year which would be considered one of the hardest years to past me (to you) and current me (to me) because after all we almost took the future possible beauty of life big or small for granted. We almost gave it all away but in the end we fought like the strong human we are! Here’s to us well me well you, you get it! When you’re reading this you may have a new year that you call the hardest one of your life, you may be living it as you read this but know there is a bright light waiting for you at the end of the tunnel! So now to speak on current 2020 me and what’s on our mind! Well that would be college since we’re moving states to attend school in believe it or not 24 days! August 21st will be one for the books?! Maybe but maybe not?! We may cry a lot because we’re big homebodies that are attached to our mother’s hip so change is terrifying for us. I guess that’s why we needed to push ourselves out of the comfort zone and throw ourself across the country but we’ll see! Anyways you that’s reading this will know how it went and I hope that time spent away from home filled our heart with patience, joy, and all the other good things/feelings in life! The other important thing going on right now is that we’ve decided to tackle one of the scariest things for us (scary in the sense that we don’t know what’s in store or the possible outcomes so for us as planners and a lover of spoilers this is hard) oh and the thing is religion! More specifically Islam! How is that going for you in this moment? Did you take on hijab and own it? Are you praying your five? Are you making dua for your loved ones and are you loving Allah with every inch of love that you have to give? Are you still afraid of the idea of entering a Mosque? Wait before any of that have you even taken your Shahada? Who was there? Do you have more muslim friends than non muslim friends? How did your family and friends react? Are you still friends with your hometown friends and have you met your friends who live all over the world? Did you even do the boy thing like talking to then marriage I suppose it would be if we’re sticking to halal? I’m only asking this because in this moment the thought and concept of marriage and kids is not in the picture at least not until after college and we’re thinking about post grad school already so! There’s so much more I could say but now in this moment, the one in which you wrote this you were slowly but with the best of intentions working to make those good things happen! InshaAllah you will well I will go through with my plan to take my Shahada once I move away to college but that I also have the courage to talk to mama and my sisters. InshaAllah that you memorize how to pray and that you start wearing hijab even if not full time upon moving to college. Above all of that inshaAllah you do everything while still being true to yourself well myself! This is getting confusing and long but hey we were always big on writing! It’s said that being curious is one the greatest gifts so! Another thing is that I hope that when you’re reading this you have finally learned to love yourself and have grown into the body you have whether you’re the same weight, you gained weight, or lost some weight! Also that you’re putting your mental health on the list like we learned! Balance is key you know? Before I go please tell me we’re not in debt because of college inshaAllah and that we’re doing what we love! It doesn’t even matter if we switch the paths we’re on but instead that we’re actively working to be good people and happy! MashaAllah to anything good that has happened because Allah loves you! Well this is goodbye I think hahah so I love you! You are enough! Different is beautiful! <333 P.s where are you living now? And have you traveled as much as you’ve dreamt of? Specifically have you gone to Italy with Rita and visited Portugal to see your bestest friends? Do you feel old yet? Have you been living or surviving? With so much love, Past you as in CFR.