A letter from July 24th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, This was written in 2020, and I’m in the hotel we stayed at in Normandy. I have a lot to say to you, you are going to find this in five years so I’ll tell you all about my life and I’m gonna ask you questions about yours. I’m 12, I have a shaved head and I’m not gonna lie I think it looks awesome. During the pandemic I havem’t talked to any of my friends that much, I feel lonely in a house full of people and I cant believe I’m saying this but I miss school. I get really bored sometimes and I go crazy, to the point were I start talking to myself out loud. I’ve realised that once I have a shaved head none of the boys will like me. I know it sounds cheesy but thats me. Then I thought maybe the girls will like me, and I was still wrong. I love my hair so much, it looks amazing and it feels so nice, but I dont think that people have the same opinion on it. I’ve started liking girls and I’m not gonna lie, girls are ******* amazing. I think they are nicer and they understamd the struggle of women more. I think I’m Omnisexual but I call myself pan because no one knows what Omni means and if I tell my brothers then they will just say I’m being a drama queen. And that brings us to our next topic, my family. The people who simultaniously annoy the **** out of me and make me feel loved. I love my brothers so much, but I think that they are homophobic and cover it up by saying ’its all a joke’. They act like they are not saying anything offensive since its not infront of a person of the LGBTQ community but what they dont realize is that there is one sitting right infront of them. My brothers dont know what its like to be a woman so they pay no attention when they fat shame me or insult my looks. They say that its all a joke but I get self concious like crazy and think ’maybe its not a joke’. ’Maybe im ugly’ And then I make rash desicions, I recently got told that I had a unibrow, I looked in the mirror and saw hairs inbetween my eyebrows and freakes out. I ended up crying in the bathroom having cut my eyebrow with a razor because I over analysed a meaningless joke. But whenever I say to them that words hurt they just brush it off and continue saying these things. I’m staying with my very religious and traditional grandma who I think will not be ok when I tell her that im Omni. But I think Banma will be ok with it and Dana will take some time to accept it but I think he’ll do fine. Next topic, mental health. Ah yes, such a fun topic (Sarcasm) As you know I am extremely self consious, up to the point where I cant wear shorts in public and I argue in my head for hours just because someone stared at me on the street. I always fiddle with my hands and randomly I will just move my leg or my arm and I dont know why. I have struggles keeping to the task at hand and I think I may have ADHD but maybe im just being a drama queen. Friends: this is gonna be short, there isnt much to talk about. I have Tilda who is super sweet but when I really needed her she wasnt there for me. Narnia, when I had a small breakdown she was there and comforted me. We would have hours of facetiming and calling in classes. Not much else is happening with friends. Crushes: Ahh, **** this is going to be confusing. Ok here we go, right now Sofia told me she liked me and I panicked and said I like her back but I dont think I do. I used to like George but then I realised I only like him as a friend and not like a boyfriend. Well now onto my life plan. When I’m in my twenties I want to adopt a child at an orphanage but I want to adopt a kid who is older and has been in foster care for a long time. Money wise I could send them to a good public school and I could also take on a job but that would be tricky. If I have to I will borrow some money but I hate taking people’s money. I want to live in either America or England, both are places where English is spoken and I have family in both places. Maybe France if I speak good french at that time. I’ve always thought that I would be a good parent and I think this would be a great plan. I’ve done a lot of makeup during quarantine and im ok at it, im not a proffesional makeup artist but im pretty good. I love TV shows and movies up to the point were I am reading at writing fan fiction. Here are my favourite fandoms and my personal favourite characters. -Outer Banks: Pope, JJ -Maze Runner: Newt, Minho, Brenda and Gally -Marvel: Spiderman, Valkyrie, Shuri, Bucky, Black Widow, Nebula, Captain Marvel, MJ, Wanda, Morgan, Peggy, Okoye, Rocket, Loki and Mantis -Umbrella Academy: Klaus, Five, Ben, Vanya -Decendants: Evie, Carlos, Jay and of course Harry. -The 100: Murphy, Jasper, Monty, Clarke, Lexa, Bellamy -Titans: Gar, Rachel and Dove -Shadowhunters: Magnus, Alec, Simon and Madzie