A letter from July 24th, 2020

hello future me!! how are you? i hope you’re okay with your anxiety now. if it has gotten worse just remember to keep going. no matter how hard it gets. you ARE loved. you’re also extremely valid. Remember not to drink too much alcohol and try and enjoy yourself. Are you still horse riding? I currently have Snow. It’s a shame I only get to have him for 2 months, but I’m trying to make the most of it. I recently cantered on my own...about THREE times. It was very fun and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re galloping by now. If not that’s okay too, maybe you have a different hobby... Or not. Either way, I’m positive you’re doing amazing at it. I’m currently on stan twitter and I absolutely love ant & dec. At first I was scared to show it, but I see now that they make me happy and I really want to hug them...like a lot. For some reason I enjoy crying about wanting to hug them. It’s so peaceful and oddly comforting. I even bought 2 of their books and attempted to draw them...The drawing wasn’t too great though. I just heard news about them meeting up with Cat Deeley and planning to recollab to make another chums series. Which I would NOT stop watching. It was so entertaining and I honestly can’t wait for a new series 20 years later. I hope you still like twenty one pilots. They’re such a cool band y’know, they’ve certainly helped you a lot. Perhaps you’re still avoiding all social interaction at school and listening to vessel songs. You better still have all those posters in your room too. Have they released a new album? I bet they did back in 2020. If they have, what’s your favourite song from it? Is it better than Vessel? I don’t know if that’s possible but you never know...Well actually you probably do know now but I don’t, yet. Do you still like cavetown, tessa violet, 100 gecs ect? What’s it like being 14? Is year 9 hard? Listen. I know it probably is. I know you’re probably scared and anxious about it all. God knows what’s happening. Maybe you’re not. But I’m still worried for the future. If you’ll have any friends, If you’ll be in a lower set and struggling, If you’ll just be able to cope with it all in general. Right now I just physically can’t get myself to do my schoolwork. I don’t know why, I just can’t. I hope I do soon... At least some of it. I wouldn’t want to get in trouble, that just adds on to my fears. But hey, you’re most likely over that now and have more things to worry about. Being in a pandemic is weird, y’know. I’m apart of history in a way. I was already, but I mean like a major event in history. I remember at the beginning everyone was panic buying, not knowing what would happen. There was literally no toilet rolls in sight. I still don’t understand why stores ran out of so much toilet roll. Shops would have such long queues, you’d have to stand a meter apart from everyone in the line. We’re currently being ordered to wear a mask or we’ll get fined. It makes sense, it’s to stop people from dying after all. I haven’t had the virus myself, but I know it’s pretty bad. I can’t wait to go on holiday in August. I love everything about Holidays and I’m only just starting to appreciate everything about them. The long car journey there, looking out of the window. Listening to my favourite songs. Randomly stopping at some shopping centre or cafe. Then when we get there, we’re either too early and we have to wait outside for a while or we’re late. We have quite a big house and my brother’s friend is also coming. I’m not exactly happy about that but ohwell. It’s not like I have any close friends to bring. All my close friends are online... Anyway, we’re also bringing the dogs. I don’t think I could sleep without hugging my pug. I also want a paddling pool for the back garden so I can sit in it with Lucy. I also want bubbles. Bubbles are essential, and Toby loves jumping up and popping them. I also hope I get to go crab fishing again and maybe even hold one like I did last time. Oh, and ride a train. I haven’t been on a train for so long since this virus started. It’s going to be such a fun getaway, especially right before I go back to school. I know it will have been a while ago now, but how was Christmas and your Birthday? Did you get anything you really wanted? Do you have a full emo outfit now, lots of twenty one pilots/ant and dec merch? I’m also wondering how many cactuses you have now. I currently have 8. I’m getting half of my hair dyed blue tomorrow. You should hopefully remember. I can’t wait to feel comfortable with my hair, I don’t know why but I kind of love the punk vibe. Before I go, Do ya still talk to Ellis and Wlofs? they’re practically you’re only friends right now but that’s fine! Maybe you’ll have some more. Have you made up with Jess yet? Hopefully she’s learned from her transphobic ways. How about Darcey and Sophia? and Dare I say it... Have you spoken to R*y at all? Hopefully not, remember he tries to comically be an awful person. I am currently -13 -Female -She/Her -Pansexual -Dating Ellis Twitter followers: 297 Goal: 2,000 General goals: -Go to BGT 2021 -Meet Ant & Dec -Go to a twenty one pilots concert -Survive Year 9 -Meet Ellis