A letter from July 21st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, It's July 20th 2020 your almost 19, its been 1 year since you graduated high school and things are definitely not going how you thought. You are failing college and you just finally told your parents. They were disappointed in you but they should be you let them down. You ****** up but I hope in 5 years your doing better and not making the same mistakes twice. You have also been lying to yourself for a while about how your doing mentally. Your really depressed and haven't been taking care of yourself. You stopped wearing your retainer and aren't taking your medication. Your insecure about the way you look and its really hard to get out of bed somedays. And sometimes you think that maybe if you weren't around you would stop feeling so sad. But other days your ok. I really hope @ 23 you know what you want to do with your life (cause it stresses me out thinking about it). I hope you stop feeling to anxious and get out of our comfort zone (and do something crazy). I hope you and Iz are still besties she's the still the best friend you will ever have. I hope you and your sis are on good terms and that she is finally talking to a therapist about all that goes on in her head. I hope you realize that mom and dad aren't getting back together and try and be happy for them if their with someone else. I hope you figure out who you are without volleyball. I know how big of a part it was in our lives and that we will always hold those memories close. I hope you finally decided to meet our birth family and I hope they wanted to meet you. Most importantly I hope your not lonely anymore , I hope your taking care of yourself, I hope your happier P.S **** 2020 for real, **** is crazy and we still have 5 months to go