senior year

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, hey. how's it going? i'm so proud of you. you've gone through so much. i haven't even started senior year yet and i'm already exhausted. did corona mess everything up? did you get to have a concert? either way, you survived. and i'm proud. i just wrote another, more in depth letter for five years from now, but i want to also see how I've changed in just a year. here's who i am now. i have half green half black hair. i listen to conan gray, girl in red, cavetown, that kind of music. i was just diagnosed with general anxiety and major depression and prescribed zoloft. it's 2:47 AM, July 18th, 2020, and i can't sleep, so i'm doing this instead. i've been playing a lot of animal crossing lately, freckles and zell make me smile when i want nothing more than to go rot in a hole. i identify as a lesbian, but i just broke up with my girlfriend of a year and 2.5 months. right now, i feel like my life has been shattered. everything seems to be getting worse, and I can't imagine how things will feel when i do get better. i miss her so much that i cry pretty much every night, but i know she doesn't care enough to think about me that way. i have to see her on monday, because my best friend is driving me to get my stuff from her house. are you still friends with either of them? did she ever change? i hope so. she was my world. my first, everything. i've never loved a person this way before. i hope she's okay and that she's apologized. a good bud just texted, we talked for about an hour. it's 4:17 AM now, so i'm going to take a zoloft and go to sleep. good day, i care about you. - sad 16 year old stuck in 2020

Epilogue

about 5 hours later

you did it. you survived high school :). honestly, i miss school. all of my senior year teachers were incredie and shaped me so much in this year.

i can't...

Aeyr leiebve a ebne st'i. Velid i've liek it lfie esfel mtei othnera. Vaeh ofr utc bc,kal ptra of nebe your lla rhai dwengdi htta ouy ypahp dna tysmol dourp 'mi ddye ti os a dna a ot. Oryu has my uqtei gchdena hktin ex we'er revo fo ety, infiteyeld i hre dtno but wive. Ldhci eb dan a no etl ma ptedeasre llwi ont eiazedlr gnaai hatt fro htat eiv' rtwoh my ailrf dan tedeatr lefse nkrobe i esfyml i norlge elik ove,l. Tghuohr hmcu ouyr os ehs btse tpas in nakht yrae fro uyo hist enfd,ir tog odg. I be rdsfeni 'llwe feli kihnt rof. Ont hvniga mnagiei i 'actn rhe.
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By osno the ayw, s'hse mgiovn. Rfa ytertp. Ofr sltli ew tub lil't inadk csuk lo,ng ow'nt mi' rae daesarept nhwe be ew rsue. Rougp tehylah a irnedf nad scuh won ouy vaeh yppha. You ploepe sevrdee eolv dna. 'tveyeh ncbrilieed tpuosrp uporg an bnee.
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The for esbiba two you udclo s,loa esbt yuo heey'rt eavh ask tc!sa. .
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Sels dna i eth ot sema uscim, egaylernl tbu xidecet illts mroe neslti ads. Tseb a heva rnidfe ruo sedhar i yalplist tiwh. Gocrinss ypahp utboa ojb i atbsiby a wichh tiwh tsin' t,moshn lmaian ksid i ouy in 7 too otg vtneah' os hmu)c oy lveo ctuoedh o(uy my owt. Its nda sleep 911: tc'an gehnuo, i nunfy am ethrie. Aihvng a whti ni ,r bene ufn hloet im eev'w. Mksa my i nddti' peels or gnrib nolntaemi. Actieadnvc !ayy ivodc ngaitas now! also eroy'u.
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Dpcisrerbe eiubwntrll ryou ithctsasipry rcyetenl. Fra been os oodg s'ti. I asw sscoerp moaidnecit gehu naigehl in het estp a our khint. Atek fo you so ofr omm ot uoy 'im tellgni pdoru.
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Rpwa tish pu i'm inltelg i to uoy ngiog yuo yb oevl. 'ltli i'llt cafe nowk eetb,rt ahr,d nkwo osem nad eelsf uyo btu be s'it ruogh i cehspta it mroe oyka eernv e,ray tge ekil i rove liwl het. Phpay to tiwh lcauyalt notpi sfrloyeu yuero' a heerw etg yolu'l.
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I eovl uyo. You oudpr of mi'.
,enriescly.
Me.

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