A letter from July 14th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I promise i won’t write much because being you i know that you’ll get angry i put this much into talking to myself. But i wanted to say that i hope you get out. Maybe even if it is for a one day train ride to New Orleans, i hope you found peace. I’m trying not to make this cheesy cause i don’t want you to be angry when you read this again but i also hope it messes with your head cause you deserve an epic story. I want you to find your place in this world and feel comfortable in it. I want you to know that sleeping in the living room of your own home isn’t gonna be the only thing in your life. I know everything sucks right now and you feel like you have nothing. I know that leaving will give you the slightest chance at having a life worth living so if that’s what you want i hope you do it. Don’t take any regret with you. You’ll never make it out alive if you are too scared to leave without losing something. I hope you get your crappy New York apartment near the train tracks by the docks. I hope you get to go to be Naemis french girl in Venice and live in a big house with all your friends. I hope when you do runaway and make your little world tour you finally meet Ella and Nailea’s dumbasses, meet Mama Mak at the beach and do LSD, and have a fun wild night with Alicia. Then i hope you hop on a train and find Zara in schneecscgaja or however it’s spelled and give them the biggest hug possible. I want you to have everything that’s just in your grasp. I want you to reach for it and never stop. I hope you’ve realized that being ***** all the time doesn’t protect you from ****. You hurt yourself by choosing to be deceitful and malicious. You want to blame everyone else but you know that you’re the problem. From what i’ve learned so far at 17 is that if you don’t change with the wind then you will be left in the dirt. Don’t be left alone. You know how much i hate being alone. When you see this again, i want you to read it to whoever you’re with. Even if they’re basically a stranger. I want someone else to tell you how little or far you’ve come. You are not the only judge in your life. And finally don’t let us die here. We weren’t meant to stay in one place forever. We want the attention and glamour of life. We want to feel alive in every way we can. We want to experience all that’s possible cause that’s what it means to be human and to live a life in the most boring mundane way is a waste. We are meant for more than this town. Whether we really deserve everything or nothing is up to the universe to decide, but remember you are just as infinite and ever expanding. One day you will cease to exist and all traces of your being will be scattered across the galaxies so before that day comes. Please live. If you don’t who’s gonna read this letter in five years. Ever So Sincerely, you :)