A letter from July 4th, 2020

hi zil, it's me :) <3 how you've been now? everything good? i hope you're all okay in the future. i was you but five years ago. im writing a letter now in 2020 so you can receive it in the future. now im wondering what you look like 5 years later haha but i hope you look better because 5 years ago you look like **** HAHA just kidding i love you <3 so it's midnight 12.41 am and im listening to everything i wanted by billie eilish, your favorite artist, right? so do you still stan bangtan right now? i hope you're still an army cause you gotta be loyal to them :) and how's about your college? oh you're graduated right? sorry i forgot haha :) btw congratulations zil !!! so now you're goin to find a job? have u found it? if you have found it well i hope you like your job now :) and if you haven't just keep going im here to support you still. but there's something that i want to tell you now, it's only left 3 weeks for me for utbk and before i did that i want to say that im sorry if the final result isn't the same with what you expected. im sorry if i have to put you through all that ***** in the future, i know im really sucks :( im really sorry. i know i caused you a lot of pain in the future, but i will try so hard for this. i do this only for you zil :) i know im not putting so much effort like other people do but please hear this, dont compare yourself with others cause it makes me sad : ( past these days ive been cried a lot every night because i know i will disappoint you in the future, i mean not only you, maybe mom and dad will lowkey feel that way too i think. but dont worry i will try harder and harder for everything right now, for you ❤️. once again i want to apologize cause i caused you lots of pain, remember that i love you zil :). oh i forgot to ask you that have you got a boyfriend? HAHAHA im really curious. im wondering who's your boyfriend now and i hope he's the best for you okay. and if you guys break up just move on okay dont cry over a boy cause you've been cried a lot in the past remember that your tears is really expensive ya know sis. okay enought for the talk. actually i still want to ask u about soooo many things cause i know that you've been through everything A LOT right? but i hope most of them are good things. oh so have you tried to appy a job in vogue magazine? have you go to korea? england? australia? well you are COMPLETELY SO OBSESSED WITH THOSE THINGS FIVE YEARS AGO YA KNOW🙄 and i forgot i just wanna tell you that i feel a lil bit happy but a lil bit sad either bcs im writing this for you, and im a lil bit hungry in the middle of this night😂 well actually mom bought me some milk but i havent drank it maybe tomorrow. so uhmm how am i supposed to end this umm OH do you got yourself some good friends? well i hope they not put you in some drama bcs YOUVE BEEN THROUGHT SOME OF THEM IN SENIOR HS🙄🙄🙄 just dont be toxic for yourself and anyone around you okay, make some changes. so yeah i think this is the end, things that i really want to keep telling you is be happy for whatever it is, dont cry over something stupid, keep going, once again im so so so sorry to put you to through all of this mess. i know im sorry, im sorry for what ive done in the past😞 but please mark my words, be good to you and anyone, think twice if you want to do something, dont repeat something stupid that you've done in the past, im still here cheering you up, if you cant hold any problems you had just be strong, ive been throught those breakups thing in 2017 – mid 2019 i think, eveyone fighting because of coronavirus in 2020, but here iam, im still here listening to some musice and most of them are bangtan💜 please be more happy in the future, you've been hurted a lot in the past, dont disappoint me again, i want to see you smile and laugh more in the future, dont do it for anyone but for yourself, for me :) maybe some thing didn't go as you wanted to but please be happy about that, you know you cant push anything pass your limits right? please remember my words, be more happy, smile more, laugh more, keep listening to bangtan everyday, watching their contents, i hope you meet them in the future :), eat more dont put yourself on a diet YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ❤️❤️❤️ tell your boyfriend to love you more, i hope you're okay while reading this zil :) and DONT CRY OKAY !!! please dont cry cause im here all good, yourself from the past will always here to watch you through everything. okay that's enough, i gotta go, good bye 🤗❤️ love, yourself from five years ago 💜