A letter from July 4th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, today, Friday, July 3rd, 2020, I’m still 16 years old, and I just wanna say we are passing through ********. I know it could be worse, and tbh I’m really grateful it isn’t. I have a boyfriend and my plans are to became his wife. I really love him, but currently we’re not physically together. Our relationship is being affected bc of that, but I don’t see myself without him. I love him as I love myself, like if he was part of me. He was my first love, and I’m glad to say I’ll get married to my first love (at least it is what I want). Few days ago (tomorrow it’s gonna became a week), my besties’ father passed away, and I’m really feeling it, maybe not the way my friends are, but I really considered him a father, and still. I’ll honor him like if we had the same blood or if I had his last name. I wanna keep strong to be my friends’ support. I’m having a lot of problems with my mom, maybe is part of the effects of the quarantine, but I don’t want her to be mad at me all the time. I love her, and I don’t wanna lose her. She’s exposing herself to the virus because we both depend on her job. I don’t know when or if all this is gonna have an end, the only thing I know is that since the man who meant a father to me passed away, I feel closer to God. Now I appreciate life as never before. I wanna get closer to God bc we don’t know when we are leaving this world. The only thing I know is that I don’t want anyone to suffer for me, as we are right now. It’s so sad to feel alone and to don’t have someone to cry with. My mom doesn’t like to see me crying, and my boyfriend... I just don’t want to bother him, he has problems as well. He’s alone and far from his family, I don’t like to cry in front of him or make him think something is going on. I love when he starts talking about how was his day or about his plans. I’m going to be always his biggest fan in the whole world and I’ll give my best so we can support each other in a close future. I really want to be with him the next time I read this, and for me it will be like that, but for him... idk. He swears he is standing by my side his entire life, and I believe him, but things could change tho, and I don’t want that. I’m just praying every day for his life, his family and his future. He is gonna be a successful person, but if he let God be involved in his life it’s gonna be better. I hope my grandparents are still alive when I read this. They are always in my heart and always will be. I’m not motivated to continue studying, but I do It bc of my mom. She is paying for my studies and I have to appreciate that. I wanna see myself in the future with success as I think it’s gonna be. I have many things to tell to the future me, but my mind is empty rn. Maybe I continue this other day. Hope you’re doing great, Andrea!