A letter from July 2nd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Happy birthday. We’ve been together 22 years and it sure has been a roller coaster. The ups were high and the downs were low. But you’re here, and you got this far. I know sometimes you never thought you would. Remember those times you’d lay in bed or sit on your bathroom floor crying thinking your life was over and that it would never get better? Well, I guess you were wrong. Don’t get me wrong, ****’s been hard but you should’ve known you’d get past it. I always knew you would. Sometimes I don’t know how you did it. It really did seem like the world was ending and like nothing would ever get better. But they got better, and then they got worse, and then they got better. That’s life. I’m just glad you learned to ride it out. Keep riding. Stop worrying about the stuff you can’t control. Let yourself be happy when it comes. And punch your insecurities in the face. Remember all those times you thought you weren’t good enough? Well, you are. I know you’ve failed and you’ve been rejected many times and it seemed like maybe you weren’t good enough. But that’s not on you. Every rejection letter you got, and job you’ve been fired from that felt like the end of the world only ended up opening new doors for you. You wouldn’t be here without all of that, and I know it all makes sense looking back now. So the next time you’re rejected or you feel like you’re not good enough, just know that one person’s ****** opinion doesn’t matter and there’s more to life than the school or the job you thought you needed to have. Because, look, now you have created an opportunity to do what you love everyday and you get to help people and make a difference. No one can take that away from you, so don’t let them. And remember, you are good enough and you’ll always be enough by being who you are. I know you’ll forget this at some point, but you’ll pick yourself back up and realize that all that you are is enough and that you’re doing your best. There is good in you, just let yourself see it. Remember when you’d feel like no one cared about you? Well, they do. I do, and will always. Just love yourself first and foremost. Then the rest will come. No one else’s opinion or thoughts towards you really matters anyway because at the end of the day you’re the only one that has to live with yourself. You are loved and you are cared about. Let yourself realize that and stop telling yourself otherwise out of fear and insecurity. Allow yourself to truly believe that there are people out there that actually care about you. And if you feel like you lack love, love yourself harder because self-love is the best kind of love you’re ever going to get. I know you hate that you’ve had to struggle the way you did, and that you wish you never had to deal with any mental illness of any sort, but think about how far you’ve come and how much you’ve learned. Think about how much stronger you are. You’re tougher than you know, and you better remember that when you forget. I’m happy that you used your biggest struggle and hardship in life to make something resembling lemonade. Think about it, without all of it, you wouldn’t be who you are today. You wouldn’t have the self awareness and the knowledge you do about mental health. You wouldn’t have started a nonprofit organization for mental health. So like I’ve told you before, everything happens for a reason and things work out just like they’re going to. I know you had a picture in your head of what you thought your life should be like, but as I’ve told you before you need to rip that up and throw it out. Life doesn’t happen as planned and won’t work out the way you want it to. But it works out. And however it happens, it happens. And that’s okay. Things aren’t going to happen the way you think they are. Maybe you won’t have the job you think you’ll have and have the same people in your life that you do now, and maybe you won’t get married on that day you picked out years ago, but that’s okay. Because however it happens, that’s your life and you need to own it and make it yours. Don’t forget there is good in you. You make people laugh, you have ****** dance moves, and you know how to be there for people. You care a lot, sometimes too much, about the people around you, and you’ll do anything for them. You’re also really funny, which I had to mention again just because I think that’s a really significant part of who you are. You’re going to touch people’s lives and make an impact. Just fight through the ******** and stay around to let that all happen. I know you think the world would be fine without you, but some people’s worlds wouldn’t. You need to trust that the world is better with you in it, and you bring something to the table even when you think you don’t. Please take care of yourself. This year, like every other, will come with it’s ups and downs and it’s struggles and it’s triumphs, but stay levelled. Don’t let the lows stop you, and don’t let the accomplishments cause you to lose perspective or take them for granted. Life’s a ride, so buckle up and enjoy it, and make sure it’s a good one. Let things happen as they do. Stop judging and comparing yourself. Just be the best you can possibly be, and you’ll always be enough. Have a good year. Go change the world (or at least try).