A letter from June 29th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Right now I'm sat in the dark, it's midnight, and I'm listening to my 'sad vibes' playlist (heather by Conan Gray rn). I've been wanting to write one of these futureme letters for so long, and I don't know why I keep putting it off, but I've read some of the public ones this afternoon, and it's inspired me to write my letters tonight. This one is being written first, as I don't have that much to put into this one, and then I'm tackling the 4-year one which I'll receive at the end of my final year of university. A year may not seem like a long time, but a lot can happen in a year, especially this one. I'm going to outline some hopes and aspirations that I hope to have achieved/accomplished by the time I receive this in a years time. Firstly, I really really really hope I get a place at Swansea University for paramedic science, and I hope my offer isn't too high, but I can work hard for the offer no matter what it is. Currently, my list of universities goes like this: 1. Swansea 2. Plymouth 3. Nottingham Trent 4. Portsmouth 5. UWE 6. Lincoln 7. Coventry I feel like Swansea, Plymouth, and Portsmouth are all very similar location-wise, but the course at Swansea looks so fucking good, and right now, I want nothing more than to be offered a place on the paramedic science course there. I just feel like I can really reach my full potential there, and I love the location, and the SU, and the sports clubs, and the town. I really want to have been offered a place from Swansea. However, I've just a lot of options (7 to be precise) and they're all good universities, so even if I don't get offered a place in Swansea, it's not the end of the world, even if I'm sad for a bit. By now, I'll know which uni's have offered me places, I'll have been for interviews (i hope they went well) and will have chosen and submitted my firm and insurance university choice, as well as picking accommodation at my firm. It's so crazy to think that in a years time, I'll be at the end of my college journey, and all I'm waiting on are grades in order to move onto the next level of my life. Next thing is grades. Obviously I don't know my A-level results yet, but I'll have been doing CAPS and will have a target grade by now, and obviously I'll have finished all of my exams, so i'll have a pretty good estimate by the time I receive this letter of my exam results. I'm going to work so fucking hard this summer to catch up on this year's work, I hope it pays off. I'm planning on spending almost all of my free's in the island and in silent study areas, and work my arse off to get the grades I want and need. My grades this first year haven't been great because I haven't really tried at all if I'm being honest, but I need to. I hope the exams went well, and even if they didn't, you don't know the grade boundaries yet, and you could've done so much better than you think, THINK POSITIVE!! Next goal isn't major, but I really hope you've lost fat, and love yourself and your body a lot more than you currently do whilst typing this. I'm starting out on the hula hooping atm, I'm currently doing an hour a day. I'm tired of the Chloe Ting workouts rn, but I might've got back into them. I hope I stick to eating healthy and working out when college starts again, even though I don't have as much time as I do right now. I'm going to try and make as much of a change over summer as I can, but hopefully, I won't ruin that when we go back to college. I hope you're sat right now reading this, being happy with our body, and even though sizing doesn't matter, it's about how happy you feel, I hope I'm back to a size 12. I know I have summer to make a change too (summer 2021) but I don't want to leave it to the last minute like I always do. I hope I've also grown my bum a bit because right now it's flat as fuck. Now, the next thing is more of a 'hoping for a miracle' and just know that past you won't hate you if this hasn't happened. However, I really hope you've had your first kiss. I honestly don't know how that would be possible since all our classes are staying the same and no one in my classes is gay, let alone attractive/my type of person. However, i do hope that by some miracle I've been kissed because even though everyone says age doesn't matter, I really don't want to turn 19 never having kissed anybody :( Next, I hope you've got a car and i hope you're driving. My next lesson after quarantine is on the 6th July, and I'm going to book a theory test asap, so I hope a year on, that I'm driving and that I've passed my test, but if not, I still have summer. Honestly, I hope you're not still working at the florist, however, if you are, don't worry about it, jobs are hard to get. Let's be honest, Beebee has died by the time you're reading this. If she hasn't, I will actually be so fucking shocked, but also not surprised at the same time because I swear that dog has sold her soul to the devil. Where is everyone else going to university? Right now, Sophie wants to go to either Salford university or a new film one in manchester, but I think she prefers Salford. Chee wants to go to Manchester university to study biochemistry. And Roli wants to go to Canada to do either photography or fine arts. Shes also been looking in the UK 'just in case'. Is this all still the same? Or have things changed? What's going on with our friendship group? Are we still close? Do we still sit with beth, jake, abi, catherine, and mai? I honestly fucking hope not ngl. Have i made any new friends? I'm really considering joining volleyball club, but i'm also really nervous because i'm self-conscious and i can't play for shit, but i think it would be a good opportunity that I should take. I can't really think of anything else to ask about. Has anything drastic and major happened this year that me writing this right now would've never thought would happen? I hope you're good. Right now I'm happy, I'm lonely and desperately want a girlfriend, however, I believe everything happens for a reason, even if that reason isn't too obvious. I hope nothing too sad has happened in the past year. I hope everything is looking good with education, self-love, family, and friends. Since there's nothing else to say, I'm going to leave it here. God this is a long letter, god knows how long the 4-year letter will be if this is only 1 year. See you on the flip side ;)