A letter from June 20th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey me! Happy 23rd bday! this is from your past self, I bet you've forgotten about this letter. I know I don't really remember this sort of things lol. So... how's life, huh? Do you already know what you're supposed to do in this world? Do you already have someone who you could fully love and loves you? Or am I and will always be single? T^T There are so many things that I'm afraid of right now... I'm afraid of my future... I'm afraid 'what if I can't accomplish my dream?' as you know... I'm still a lazy bum. Ah, but I know the person 5 years from now is exactly who I envisioned. You're probably already so pretty, confident, hard-working, diligent, consistent, AND sociable. Whew I actually don't know about the last one since I'm so socially awkward but I bet you can handle conversations with strangers now at least right? I really wanna study abroad. Please, please, please future me, you're probably already in Australia or New Zealand right?? right????? I know I have the capability inside ME to have a scholarship. I just have to put in the hard work and visualize. Grrrrrr And if you're currently in a rough place... hey I just wanna say you can get through this. Like you've got through 1st semester of Highschool which was absolute hell. Take deep breaths. Don't play your phone too much okay? Everything will be alright. I hope this letter of mine will cheer you up. Ah and btw, I'm currently writing this from quarantine. The way the government is handling coronavirus is extremely dumb and crappy. Especially USA haha! Trump is dumb. oh and there were also riots! People are finally speaking up about racism! that's something that really warms my heart even though I'm not even American. I hope the future changes for the better for the whole world. Oh and you know, I think Mom is making her own brand of food! Her "kue pia" are popular, and so are her other home-made foods. I actually don't wanna go back home because I probably have to help her bake those cakes! Ugh!!! But I really miss her and dad my little sisters, so I guess it's fine haha! I'm still keeping in touch with Febi, Rahel, and Naomi, Cindy, and Mishel . I still think I'm close to them ^^ I actually don't really want to get close to Febi because of her personality especially in middle school, but after I went to Flores, she changed for the better :) So I think it's worth it to be best friends with her, especially since she supports me unconditionally. So ofc I have to return that love. I'm currently reading a novel too! "The second coming of Gluttony" on wuxiaworld. Heck I really love the novel! The worldbuilding, characters, plot, dialogues, every single word- I love it! It also really inspires me. So maybe if you're bored you can re-read it ^^ So... there's nothing much to say though. I hope wherever you are, whoever you are with, whatever you're doing right now... *You are happy* otherwise it's not worth it. Idc if you say "But it's not that simple!" You know that your happiness and wellbeing comes first before anything. Remember to pray ok? Again... believe in yourself Love, 17 year old me, who absolutely believes you can succeed. xx teresa lay R.