A letter from June 11th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, hey it's you. i'm gonna write this like a text message because i honestly don't care and we are gonna be the only ones who know who this is sooo. anyways i saw this on a tiktok video and thought it might be fun bc i have a lot of things i want to accomplish so maybe i will have them accomplished by the time i read this letter. by now you should be in college which im really wondering which college you went to and for what major bc hell i have no idea right now. i want to go somwhere out of state, specifically nyu which would be so much fun bc i love new york city. if you did not end up going somehwere out of state, it better be for a good reason. also right now i joke with jeff (he better still be my best friend in 2025) about us going to college together so if you didn't go with him, reach out to him and see how he is doing. im currently 15 writing this so this might be a little far fetched, but rn i always talk about how i want to live in so many places at some point in my life like new york city, seattle, los angeles, new orleans, and maybe even san francisco. not for long just for maybe a year or so. new orleans *chefs kiss* favorite city currently bc the culture and the food ah the food and the music even better. love life is a big thing i hope is better in five years. im such a hopeless romantic that i hope to have found my man, if not thats okay i mean you are only in college so we got a long time ahead of you. i def have self esteem issues right now bc of my weight and just my face, sad to say but true. i hope you have gotten better with those so that if you find someone thats right for you, you will be able to actually open up to them. lets move on to mental health. geez where do i start. its pretty ****** right now i would say. i just feel things very strongly which can be so great but you know if things can be really great they can also be really terrible. it might just be the society i live in but i swear to the lord almighty that somethings not right. even if our dad says theres not but we know whats going on in our head. currently i think it might be BPD just based on the **** ive lived through but it might also be something i havent learned about yet. it really holds me back from doing things i want to do. so what i wish is that you are either diagnosed and are figuring things out or you realize that these things aren't a big deal and can process them better. rather than writing a paragraph im just gonna list a few things about you in 2020 to see how much you've changed in five years. favorite food: french fries favorite movie: dirty dancing, its complicated favorite holiday: thanksgiving celeb crush: rudy pankow, harry styles favorite color: red favorite school subject: history favorite drink: cream cold brew favorite flower: lilacs favorite tv show: tvd, obx, friends favorite season: fall favorite sport: basketball biggest fear: the ocean well thats about it, lets hope you still have access to this email address because if not, i basically just wrote this thing for nothing. but i hope you can read this and are abel to joke about this and have fun. oh **** also happy 21st birthday, honestly you better get wasted unless for some reason you're pregnant right now then dont. but like go to vegas or bourbon street and have fun. from, your past self