A letter from June 3rd, 2020

Dear me, It's me, again. It's been a while, I think? I can't remember if I sent my last e-mail 3 years into the future or 5, but either way hello again :) So yeah, it's currently 22:34 on the 3rd of June, 2020, and here I am watching One Piece and writing a stupid letter to my future self. Make sure to finish One Piece if you haven't already by 5 years, if its even finished ahaha. On this day five years ago a lotta things happened to make you cry, although you really did cry a lot when you were 14. I hope my now as a young adult you don't cry as much. And don't make your mom cry too anymore. I hope you realize you really do love her, and she loves you back. God where do I start? Well hopefully if I'm not dead by 2025, you'll remember all the things that led up to your 19th June 3rd of your life. Please tell me you'll still be with Dawid. You really do love him. Or at least, 14yo you does. May he still love you and take care of you as well as he's doing since you first got together. Although now he's honestly making my heart ache. I hope you remember all the good and bad times you've been through together. Throughout it all, please don't forget that he really does love you. Or at least, he's supposed to :// Just please take care of him. He really needs someone to love in his life, and you know by now he's really just fragile and easily broken on the inside, despite that tall, handsome, dreamy, good-looking-- kjfhlsdf uhhh that tall quiet exterior hehehe. I hope you're still in contact with Jasper and Seb. They're your best friends really. Not a day foes by without me thinking of the next package to send them. I really hope by the time you're reading this you'll have met them in person. I love them to bits and they're really best friends for life, so hold onto them tight. Also I really hope you've done well in school. I'm not doing the best, but come on, it's second year, cut me some slack. Please tell me you're getting into a great college that'll be amazing for our dream job career; video game concept and design and stuff like that. Although maybe we'll have changed our career aspirations in the next few years, I don't really mind. As long as we'll still be happy and satisfied with our lives :) Which brings me to what I think is going to be my last paragraph; Please live. Maybe you're happy with you life right now, or maybe you're not, but in short; Live. Please, don't do it. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You've thought of it countless times and you've attempted it more than needs be. Right now, as a 14yo, I'm sorta living my life for myself. I only get up to tend to my Animal Crossing garden and check turnip stonks, and play League and do things that make me happy. I live in my own little world where I'm always right and unbothered by my insecurities and I'm happy. But sometimes, you've got to live for others. Sometimes my little world bubble breaks and I've got to find other reasons to live. But they're all there. You're the reason Emily keeps her old skateboard in the hopes that you'll finally buy your own and she can give it to her sister instead of you always borrowing it to skate down to the park. You're the reason Dawid wakes up in the morning, or at least thats what he says. You're a reason that twist.moe is still up, donating €5 a month to support your favorite anime pirating website ahah. You're the reason your Animal Crossing island isn't overridden by weeds and sea shells on the coast line. Whatever the reason is, no matter big or small, its a reason to keep living. I don't think the world is black and white. But I do believe we are divided for our reasons to live, for others, or ourselves. You decide which side you resign in. But at the end of the day, we will all still live. For 14 years you've found a reason to wake up every morning. Please don't stop. Maybe you'll be proud of 14 year old you. Maybe you'll hate her and look back upon this letter with cringe and hatred for the person you used to be. But it's okay. I understand. I know you'll go through a lot of changes, and everyday you'll be different for the last. I just hope that we grow up to be happy with ourselves, and finally get the peace and satisfaction I know we're looking for. Whether I'll get my dream life or not, I hope you will still realize that it won't be easy to get there, and that where ever you are in life, you'll be happy one day. Just don't grow up to be a meth addict. Sincerely, Me