A letter from June 1st, 2020

Dear Mike, I hope all is well. We both know that at this time, I do not have the best mindset. Looking around seeing people loving each other, making connections and living their lives while we sit inside wasting our time. So many aspirations that cannot go anywhere since we do not have the opportunities or mental health to do them. Hopefully, it will all change. I wonder if you will get to the point that I wish for you. I hope you have that lovely little home in Colorado with a loving girl by your side and a dog that will not leave your side. However, I am scared that you won't make it. I am scared that something will happen and you will lose the fight. If you did survive the mental exhaustion and stress, continue to push forward. You have done so much within the past year of your life and many people stated that you can go far with your gifts. You just need to keep using those gifts in the best ways possible. Think, a year prior you were scared that Public Relations might not have been the best choice. Now you have a communication audit complete with a 600-page book, you wrote multiple news articles that made it to the paper during a pandemic and you pushed to be the best communicator that you could be within your work environment. I hope work is different for you now. Currently, I feel forgotten by everyone. It seems as though I am a pawn in their game and can be thrown away at any moment. Everyone throws me under the bus for small mistakes and then later laughs it off as though it did not hurt your feelings. They're selfish. Much like work, in my social life I feel as though people throw me away constantly. All my Public Relations classmates just tend to do their own thing and talk to each other while you do not get a single text from them. They only cared once Deanna said something. Even after that, they did not respond to your text about what all was going on. It is so painful to have someone ask if everything is okay and then not respond once you tell them the truth. It makes you wonder if they truly are your friends or are just are there for their own benefit. Are there any talents that you discovered within the past 5 years? I know we have always wanted to learn guitar since we love to sing, but did you ever try to learn? Maybe learning that can help with the mental health issues. Try and learn guitar and put our feelings into music. You know what, **** it. Starting today, we are going to learn guitar. It might work out, it might not. However, I make the promise to you, my future self, that we will learn it as best as we can. No more of this "I'm going to do it" and then cancel the next hour ********. WE can do this. Lastly, since this is going to be sent on your 28th birthday, I wish you a happy birthday. If you are not doing anything for your birthday today, treat yourself. Take yourself out for a nice dinner, go to the bar, take a walk in the park and reflect on the years we've had on Earth. I hope you are okay, Mike. Because I know we are not okay currently. Love, Mikey James