A letter from May 24th, 2020

Time Travelled — almost 6 years

Peaceful right?

Dear Me Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play? Is it terrifying to grow up? Do we still think about our bio dad? Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too. I'm scared I'm scared for mom I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me. How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...

Caesdr. Fo revyadye casedr i be will my nda fro a mi’ i eihlw kithn feil. Fefcest ew uto has pssrreenig od lal retm urnst lnog layacltu eht. Divel htho?gtu vree was o,aurra olweu’vd elvo eahlhyt ’erew you whree nad nto ohw otuhhgt a wthi uoy wordl rryso rhe ni im’. Ltsli nad be ecrehat ti od a for evah i ylearl igogn a i npsaois to ma. I erayll lruty tiknh r,eettb ’weev i totgne do. I ufodn ewve’ yuo ghuttoh thaw imet eendde uyo dah oevl tub ouy ti eht ta’snw this ithkn. Aveh elpeop rfo ohw wdrol dan owh erdfisn orf wudol uoy you wot rea veol yuo taht igve eth uyo. Crean,fs s,iasra cdceena etdkal atls mite rtnefqyule i )tars( litls i ouy dan lkta ubt lelab to rmebreme het or otnd’. Lgnivo i ton’d iknht tops htme eerv l’oylu. Dowlu otn nilyfla idd tge we one oyu tpcxee tolhuhag ,toatto a yalbprob. Het hciwh opem it’s oknw fmor lvoe i a otque tuhh,og dne tafcirmen ldowu ouy. Soufc ew i on you ehtn evre tirew erpoty tisll oerm did eovl to tghuohal. Elgnfsie ti egt adb lpshe out het. Snnigig ysa sklisl psaiteonsa htob dan itsghn twih nirtwig droeipvm boaut ethe’ry wre’e rou wev’e i tsill uowdl nad. It ,ypal ddi ramjo in oru htat now up i i a nad leovd edn so is’t umch. Ehettra onedst’ neses rof na su lueott eht nweh gsevi orlwd meak. Cysra etllit wrgnigo a pu si. Lelw pytetr od dgoin twah tbu to orf leeevbi eden ealrly nay uitiscnnotrs ot ’di yuo ton ilke hret’es e’ewr. Loesc wthi wno w’ere ever wlel’ he tnhik way but i nda sih ni dad d’ton eb tesri ont. Utsj a t’si epeolp pnai, nad ilewh we hwen asw ’sendot he rae kid rnob weer hatt noiarttpm it feblalli bmeermre teh to asere. Rewso enottg ms’om. Neerv leahth vpomrie rhitanemg oruy aws rhe wlasya i btu idd wkno ahtt owsrt. Ehs’s lonairac eoj htiw fo aazr ongidvicr ot hrtno ni the esoprsc nogivm dna. M’i levo orrys uoy htat yuo erev elareiz yuo, how too im’ trhu nylo are to het amnet loppee soryr nad ot taht gynou rwee. I ood,g rzaa isdk hhgauolt teh lnoy aer taoub kown. Ovemd a omeh mfor eylral erdveocre thta oru sah orfm esary on neo nstuij fwe aws ago dan. Tre’hse tlo a stinhg fo z uro esy abyb noigg be u)ldo lwsyaa twhi rgli to owrng a(los ’hsse tilsl shse’ btu. I ohw wnok uyo eradsc were. And ygevitnreh hte how i kard woh all gto dseeem nkwo dab ietm intgsh. Mi’ kwno eacsdr atth ulwdo esme yas lstil meka utb i hvae ssle i lpopee i hgints yigrftnrie. Niggo ahtst’ not tills nhcgae vaeli anteiym onso e’wre and ot. Enht ediibnrecl rome lerazei i i’m olwud ieghanr uoy yuo asy eshlp khitn. Ym ofr leiv ropud eb btu me rehe eb nvee i uyo endede tawn of knhit ilfe to taht htat lwuod in dluwo bmeremre fo, to a uyo beign i i yaw pdour. Ni coegle,l “eht h”olso,c ew end lrylae helwi i it’s od nad evlo sbet tno did wrentes pu. Otuba imzagan sgrdae nhwe caer bceaeus ear ew uor marst tusff ew leryal ist’ era. I to ’di if woh ekli ’im kwno seur tno eerv liwl i ma yas i tbu. Na asw acespe aacult phpay i inspos,a it ti ihknt ,aintp hetn kemas na fo i llsti me uyo htat ti utb mreo oledv odt’n. Ayn lalrye fo all is lief atht amkes rwniitg lcaep eht be it snese luodw so too vreo eenitr uryo yuor. Inigntkt we irdte mcuh htae nad it tuo so ew ofund. As ellh ’sti ynnnogia. Ti hre hmcu i uot stih to who wluod thru ubt to uyo ’mi rhea nto to oingg oknw caerh. Elfi to ngyitr tle swya reeufs hse ckba dueadnrstn i ehr trhu litsl m’i ot nda us ym in niot. I tpoosh eth drarmei her yrt,eencl no seh mmso was got cbafeoko. Nad elov ti muhc uyro hse aegv of oysrr erenv os dedreevs ’im atht yuo hre. Bkea rou meda tbes hte dhyatrib i i fro ulacaylt a idd reoht ckea sdfiern ,ady. Duolw shi inthk si uoy mnae nda i roade imh cj. Fro we us get nrgielrdif hhicw aet, hetas datreh rveo eth rneev touba idd rou. Hwchi nitrefdef do eyerv toijicnnes ojnye ew yob!) of do ’ist keew ew rof a a ,t dikn sreir!(sup. Lakt ot eimt i in i you shiw akcb go nda docul. Trtbee dmea adn ttha ompires ghuthor nghits it get i oyu. Ylcuk ciershh ouy nda vhae uyre’o era in atth htme trhee iefl eayrydev to os your oeeppl. Weer’ tra’ne tbu hpyap efrpetc we. Caesbue eandmgii lod’veuc tgo i i u’eory ohw ovle yuo tehn reeh erev ermo yuo. I fi reeh epke rgnity dutlno’w uoy dti’nd be. Ew i so aws ubt idert ggvnii i dndt’i ,mtgtnpie wnok oknw ttha oto you mesesmtio pu enve. M’i ouy eolv sadety uoy uecbeas eher dan i.

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