A letter from May 24th, 2020

Time Travelled — almost 6 years

Peaceful right?

Dear Me Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play? Is it terrifying to grow up? Do we still think about our bio dad? Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too. I'm scared I'm scared for mom I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me. How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...

Erdsac. Iktnh and ilwl be i im’ cresda ayyedrve fiel fo ofr a i eiwhl my. Nglo has eht gneisrrpse tnurs mert ew laycltua out lal sefeftc od. Aytehlh ’im and veidl dwrlo ehr uyo soyrr hrwee wtih ouy tno rvee in t?ogtuhh ohw aura,ro aws evlo otuhght a we’er w’udovel. Eb for iasnosp it ot am i a do aeylrl i haectre a adn hvea llsti gogin. ’veew do knith ttonge ,bttree i ralyel ltuyr i. Eddeen it nthik you dah the i huottgh doufn atwh ouy btu we’ev ’sawtn vleo you hsit imte. Who lwduo rae eth orf nad rfo lrowd ouy owt sdnfire owh uyo htat ppoeel you gevi haev olev ouy. Acecden ro tlas label tmie tllis aeltdk i and het tub tsra)( rbmrmeee uoy i elyneqrtfu fsnr,cae ot lkta raas,is o’dtn. Otps otdn’ khnit lol’uy gnvoli i vree ethm. Tlgahhuo failynl we yabrlopb eon get ta,toto ouy uwdol idd a tno eepxct. Ranimetcf luodw ’tsi nokw eht poem whchi ghot,uh romf i yuo nde a oevl teqou. Roem scuof ot ehnt eirtw eerv vloe no idd we lstil olghuhta i yuo pyetro. Eglfsien teh lpshe ti uto get dab. Itlls rou would i htbo tboua dna r’ewe klisls nda tyerhe’ nrgwiti eev’w orevmpid nisosaptae gshnti twhi gnnsgii yas. Mcuh idd wno i our ni ttah a i’ts den l,pay raojm so oedlv it i and pu. Tesd’on snese eht gsvei dorwl su leoutt ofr na emka aeetrht ehwn. Lelitt iwggorn is sarcy up a. R’sheet od eden eielbev yna gniod i’d fro atwh but yptetr ouy to we’er tsinirnstcuo ylelar ikle tno to llew. Be add rwee’ he i ubt tnd’o lel’w won tresi nihkt ni way evre ont his lsoec iwht nad. Idk ts’i dan eht ear fabellli oamrtntip a earse ew erwe wehn ,pian errmeemb ti to eh en’sodt iwlhe bron eeppol wsa atth ustj. Gtonet sm’om ewosr. Yawlas ouyr atht rtosw i was ngrtmieha never ddi tub her kown riepomv hhlaet. Htiw ivgmon jeo tonrh ’hses aarz nda ot irncvigod ni fo eth orcsesp iaonclar. Ttha and uoy ’mi plpeoe hutr are were owh ’im oto uoy ouy, to olyn taht ynoug orsry oysrr to eht eevr neatm eeazrli vole. I aazr skdi lony o,gdo are wnok tabuo hothlaug hte. Ylrela frmo noe sah rou a morf ovmed fwe wsa on nijstu nda oag eomh atth ysear rodceveer. Z t’ehrse o)udl gongi htwi h’ess sllti aybb eb utb aswyla lo(as of a lot shtngi s’hes ot our lgri ongwr yse. Uoy wkno i rdesca wree who. Rethyignve nkow abd hte i woh how dkar edemse lal meti nad tog ghnsit. Hvea i amke elss ’mi oldwu asy emes epopel eradsc i signht i terrfiinyg ubt nowk itlls taht. Nda canehg ggion oons rwee’ ot otn hts’ta aevli aeynmit ltsli. Oerm shpel oyu hinkt wldou ’im yas yuo i gainerh izearle hnte iieblrdnec. Enev wodul ehre eb i deened o,f i ngeib of you ym i taht ielv nwta oupdr leif for kitnh in yaw proud atth eb em rembreme ot a ot ldwou ubt yuo. Edn is’t ni up ewnstre did ovel g,colele ”ocohl,s i t“he stbe iwhel od nto adn we yrllae. Erca eusaceb really aobtu ear mstar gdears we ew aer imnaazg st’i wehn ffsut rou. I elik llwi i ohw di’ yas tbu ma nokw to rseu mi’ fi not i eevr. Tbu i reom i ppyha tenh na itnhk uyo ain,psos i,patn em it ttha nd’to it lsitl wsa aalutc ti leodv masek fo na esepca. Ealryl paelc flei os oot eb tnwrgii aeskm nsees rienet htta is eht ti of oevr lal yoru dwlou ayn ryou. Dofnu we ew mhuc tuo kttgnnii os dteri ti dan tahe. Lhel ynanoign sa ’tis. Ton erh i’m i wonk you tbu harec ludow ot ot trhu uot ehra ohw cmhu ot hist it ggnoi. My aysw tnoi rdtandseun abkc seh i uhtr nda m’i sitll tle gtirny in to rueesf lefi ehr su to. Rrmedai ehs mmso on otg wsa i teh hre cakfbeoo ecynrlte, pohsto. Ehs oyur yuo atth vneer os erh aevg love dan ti eredvesd i’m of oyrrs umhc. Ddi beak tseb yad, efndrsi i rof orhet ytdirbha edma a teh rou ekca i aylaltuc. Draoe is ouy mhi ish anem ktinh i lodwu jc adn. Ofr su ddi revne vreo ew htaes ubtao ,aet hte uro fernldirig rtadhe chiwh egt. Ts’i edfintfer wkee a do a orf jenoy yvere b!y)o reusp!isr( ew od itencoinsj kidn we of t, chhwi. I adn wish og lakt ot i in ckba miet yuo dcluo. Ispmero ghuthor eettrb mead i uoy etg adn it ttah gtnihs. Ttah ryuo hvae cirhhes o’uyre ielf eydeavry aer in ethm yuo os ppeleo nda to theer cuykl. Ew tub eepftcr happy ewr’e ’tnaer. Veo’ucdl evre mnaiiedg ’euyor meor velo uyo easubce oyu reeh hten ohw otg i i. Eehr oyu eepk nwo’dlut yritgn be fi dnit’d i. Tng,ptiem nowk i tub erdti pu hatt we so oyu giving i wonk ’iddnt mssietoem oto neve asw. Dna vole oyu ’im aecuseb heer you i dyaset.

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