A letter from May 24th, 2020

Time Travelled — almost 6 years

Peaceful right?

Dear Me Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play? Is it terrifying to grow up? Do we still think about our bio dad? Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too. I'm scared I'm scared for mom I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me. How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...

Dascer. I’m wlli seadrc vyeayder fo lhiew fro eb i a lfei khnti i ym nad. Runst nglo trem lla ew csetffe has uto eht clylatau espsrergin do. Rhe adn saw ihtw ahtyleh ryros eerv thhotgu? a ldvei ,auaror i’m ont ththgou uyo oelv orldw uoy r’eew in owleu’vd hwo ehrwe. It ma a a ltlsi to arehect i haev i nggio od ssanpio lyrlae dna for be. Inhkt i wev’e arlyel i od gntote tluyr tebt,re. Uyo hda ubt want’s nihtk mtie twah yuo othgthu it edeedn eth ’evwe uondf vloe isth oyu i. Ttha het ievg nsidref evol rof oyu ear ouy leoepp wlduo ohw two uoy yuo for and rdwol vhae ohw. Llbea ot tub reebermm r)(tsa or ltas i uyo teh i nda litsl katedl aklt fuqnyeelrt miet ontd’ ri,sasa ,serfacn ncacdee. Meht tosp yl’ulo inkht i td’on reev volign. Oyu yialnfl aholutgh teg did xtecpe we dwuol toat,ot rylobpab ton a one. Uwlod morf qtueo a ompe you i eth hchwi nkow nde eamtnrfic ’its goth,hu eovl. To meor tslli oscuf hent ertpoy ouhthagl reev ddi oyu veol on ewtri ew i. Fineselg tou ti pshle the egt adb. Say itsll we’ve e’ewr nrwiitg obaut adn nigths i odlwu ovmiedrp igsingn hitw uro tboh sitaospnea ehyert’ dan lislks. Pal,y nwo did i ni ojrma pu chum ttha os it is’t nad ruo a i edn ovdel. Tesdn’o kmae na the dlwro rof ehnw us erettah sense gesvi tteuol. Is cyrsa a woinggr pu ltltie. ’id yllrea to ot yuo orf tbu elbeeiv od erw’e ytpter hretes’ nede ahtw ndogi ekli lwel yan nto scnrtsiitnuo. Sih w’lle wree’ socel in won think he ubt be yaw evre otn dda dna esitr ot’nd hwit i. Ot detons’ an,ip sit’ lfblelia hiwel tath rbeemerm seera ti eh nwhe het we eeolpp ewer namtiport wsa dik and rea rbno a jtsu. Omm’s eswro notegt. Thta enver wsaayl wnok wostr hre i but oyur rnetahmig idd pimevro saw eahtlh. Hte cvnidoirg aroanicl araz dan ni fo novmgi ssrcpoe ejo eh’ss htiw tnhor to. The aizreel lyon ttah yuo, evol erwe to hwo mntae ysror uhtr ’mi htat sroyr ot uoy ouy eevr dan oto are pleope mi’ ynoug. Eht rea i yoln rzaa kwno utaob oo,dg dksi uaoglhht. Dna atth oevrreedc rfom aylelr neo omeh was sah our wfe on oevdm untijs a oga form sayre. Hwti hses’ aybb to gwnro lao(s tlo oigng lislt lwyasa se’hs sye nhtsgi of l)dou a oru lrig tub z h’reets be. I rwee rcdeas okwn how you. I who otg lla owh konw teh mtie bda msedee and ngthieeyvr rakd thigsn. I hngsit asrdec smee ehav wnko keam ays elss elopep mi’ i i tbu tilsl ifnitrrgye loudw htat. Htsta’ ivlae ree’w dna ot oosn ilstl emityan ggion tno acegnh. Oyu erdibcelin nheiagr i zaerlie i’m say meor hpsel hten lowud tkihn uyo. Tnkih dropu yuo orpdu eb i for i o,f dedeen btu eb uwdol em in a hatt ym to nigeb nvee eerh yuo htta awy veli i lief fo atwn wldou ot rebmrmee. Nad in eovl lec,ogle nretsew we scoho,”l dne idd hiwle od setb up lylrea “the i i’ts tno. Tffsu aer reac agaimnz era adsreg whne tsi’ cubseea atrsm ew ruo ubato lelray ew. Iwll wkon usre like id’ to i tbu veer i sya ma not im’ how if i. Nteh epaces swa ntpai, ti lctaua i ntihk ti tub omer tills ahtt s,pasoin ppahy na i d’nto of ti vdoel esmak na yuo me. Lla oto lecap be yan is elif so the seakm oyru nsese orev of wludo royu tath ti etreni yrllea rwntigi. It ew cmhu we ahte adn rtied uonfd tuo os iinntgkt. Ynanniog as llhe ist’. Uoy udlow rhaec ot to mi’ iggno konw tuhr ubt hwo itsh out her muhc tno hear ot ti i. Us my nad sillt asyw let in ot itno her uthr ’im kcba to ersufe seh ednrtansud rgnity efil i. Clr,tyene i the spohto otg on her rdrmeai caokeofb mmos was hes. Rsroy m’i hatt and ehs oyu it ehr vener yuor of os veeedrsd leov gvea mhcu. Alutlyac atdyhrbi i eisnrfd het a toreh eack aebk ddi ad,y tebs orf i ruo dmea. Si oeadr ouy wdluo cj him nihkt i ish dan mnae. Ddi het oerv evern ea,t aetsh ubtoa ehtdar we for ierdirlfgn us our get hiwhc. Od fo eyrev tijinesnco jenyo hwihc od ew nrfeeifdt indk a we ob!)y kewe rof !prieusrs( a ’tsi t,. Oudlc whis i you mtie kcab og in ot dan i lakt. Hsgnti huhtorg orpimse uoy dna atht i aemd get terbet it. Era epolep ni so eahv tath dvyryeea ot yore’u ethm eilf dna erthe ucykl hceisrh oyu oryu. ’erew fpcetre ppyah we but rnte’a. Woh omer ouy i i yor’ue secubae oyu vere lvoe ogt geniiadm ehre nthe ueclvd’o. I i’ntdd tiygnr uyo fi eerh lduwot’n peke eb. Up eritd pnegi,mtt oto viingg you ddit’n mtsemoesi i so eevn tub knwo nkow thta saw i we. Sdtyea and ereh lvoe yuo i’m uebeacs i oyu.

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