A letter from May 24th, 2020

Time Travelled — almost 6 years

Peaceful right?

Dear Me Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play? Is it terrifying to grow up? Do we still think about our bio dad? Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too. I'm scared I'm scared for mom I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me. How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...

Serdac. I i adn easrdc feil orf a m’i be ym hleiw fo dyaeeyvr llwi tknhi. Gnol cautyall lal tou epngsesrir ahs ffescte do the tnrus ew rmet. Not reev you nad reh yuo a wthi ewer’ ni who ar,auor mi’ olrdw wreeh h?huttgo livde haeylth olweudv’ yorsr huttgoh vole asw. Slitl a a orf ti nsapiso dan i od ryelal am igngo to evha be tcarehe i. I od gteont tylru tbtr,ee khnit i lalyre ’weve. Meit eovl you snwat’ twah hda het eenedd tbu knith ogtthhu you yuo evw’e i fduon hsit it. Fresnid tath fro rea adn yuo teh loudw wot ievg who fro dworl elvo oyu poelpe owh vaeh oyu oyu. Bmeeermr uyo n’tdo i tlak eynertflqu crnsaef, at(r)s slta time eth dan alble tslli i ot eancced ro as,isar ktaedl tub. Eevr i tkhin don’t sotp ul’loy emth nglvio. Otn utohhgal braoypbl idd uyo a we wluod ptceex oen teg flinlay ttoo,ta. I yuo wichh oetqu ned wokn ouwld sit’ romf elov teh fenamictr a ,tgohuh oepm. Meor on nhet yuo vree yrpeot eovl did algtuhho ofcus to tewri iltsl i ew. Slhep fgnsleei het uto ti teg abd. Ngngiis tiignwr ysa hobt tlsil epsitasoan sgntih e’hrtey e’wer our and nda wdulo eev’w slslki otabu mvioredp i ihwt. Ti uhmc and i maojr up now did ,plya end i vdoel ruo ttah a os ni s’it. Ordwl eon’tds het uelott fro an atreeht hwne kmae su seesn gvsie. Roinggw is lttiel aycrs up a. Ahtw eew’r ognid leaylr kiel etptyr tno ’di rfo od tbu ibvleee nrioutnssitc nay ee’sthr yuo to ndee to llwe. Estri eh onw dda i clseo dan erve erwe’ ywa not’d with l’lwe ubt hitkn ihs tno ni be. To we eelppo eh wsa kid rmeeemrb antiprtom tusj pni,a dan elwhi aer arees a wree rnob iblfalle htat hwen s’ti hte it eds’nto. Oenttg serwo sm’mo. Rhe hetlha ysalaw uyro onwk asw worts htta nveer eatmnhigr i ddi but meivrop. Ihtw ndgirivco oej to of inaorcla ingomv the rhnto ss’he azar adn in rsspcoe. Ttah ruht oyu zerleia onguy ’mi eolepp atth era sryro ewre nad hwo ’im rysro oot erve ot olyn eovl ot nemta eth ,uoy yuo. Ubota teh i hauhtlgo ,oodg okwn zara rea yoln ksid. Veodm wsa no neo sreya ahs lleray hemo romf a sitnuj ovdrreece romf oru atht dna few ago. Z rgil ehtesr’ uld)o se’sh wrgno sse’h gtnhsi lto yabb waayls oggin eys uro ot btu of eb a (aslo iltsl iwth. Hwo you acrsed nwko ewre i. Nad miet lla bda wonk sedmee ohw kard owh teh hgyverntie i tgishn ogt. Sels that wnok i siltl esem ’mi have tub nights wdolu irtyrfigne erdsca eeoplp i i meak ays. Ggnio ot soon ont tnmiaye ivlea dna ewr’e aehcng tlsli sath’t. Seplh yas hnkti you omre uwodl uoy i ezleiar m’i iriecnlbed neht raenghi. In ym o,f ot thta memrbeer orudp oudlw i dedene i eenv i em hktin yuo reeh ttha eb wnat neigb rof ouy btu ielf yaw leiv wuodl udpro be a of ot. Edn eetwnsr sebt idd i alryle not lochso”, pu ’its lvoe lel,ogec “teh in we nda do ilhew. Aesrgd esucaeb yellra reac fufst aznmgia era ew wneh our rae obuat tsrma ’its we. Ma veer i i’m i reus ton ’di tub i konw wlli to eikl fi woh yas. An an tath me itanp, pphya isllt i tnhki i aemsk it uoy ’dnot ualtac wsa fo rmeo hetn ti peecas vdole ti btu snsoipa,. Htta ylrlae eb of lal uwodl senes os oevr too ryuo is lfei rnitee any eskma pcale igtrniw ti yoru the. Ew hcum fdonu uot taeh it gtnkitin nda os reitd we. Nogaynni is’t as lleh. Dluow i aehrc to ggino urth hmcu tno out rhae it nwko yuo woh mi’ to ot tbu htsi hre. Abkc uhtr nnsrdeutad i erh iefl ot su igntry let ni my ’im ysaw to tnio erufse stlli dna seh. Cteyr,lne rridema asw she mmso okoecfab the no her tgo i toophs. Reenv that ti ysrro reh fo uoy humc geav rouy so velo dan she im’ eddevers. Rsdinef rdahbtiy kaeb eht y,da amde rothe rfo idd i i best a cake ayllatcu uro. Mane you si oaedr i uwldo ish ihktn mih nad jc. Ddi orf tge ovre we hhicw adreth aoubt uro never lgnidfrrie us taesh eht e,at. We b)y!o iknd od we a of rs(usp!rie noeyj jeiosncint orf nreiffetd a ,t eyvre ’tsi hcwhi weke od. In dan i to teim og uyo uodlc talk wihs i cbka. Tbeter it ishgnt i oipesmr ttah oyu emad dna get tghuhor. Rae have life rehet rchihes pploee ttha ot in yulkc deyeyarv os ’rueoy oyu mhte oyru nda. Ew utb ’rewe perfcte aer’tn hyapp. Owh yuo er’uyo yuo bucesea digneima tgo ehnt evlo i evre roem eher veu’docl i. Fi eb i uyo ’ddnti uotd’wln rehe pkee trigny. So i ew atth i pitetgm,n ouy pu igivng tub emteosism even ndtid’ too nkwo aws iedtr wkno. I abeceus ydsate uyo ’im adn veol yuo eehr.

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