A letter from May 24th, 2020

Time Travelled — almost 6 years

Peaceful right?

Dear Me Are you scared? I know we thought it would never get better but does it? Do we stay with Aurora or do we meet someone new? Have you fulfilled our dreams yet? Are we still going to be a teacher? Have we gotten better? You're turning 19 today huh? Is it fun? Right now its 5:24 pm on may 24th 2020. I just turned 13 and I'm in love. Are we still friends with Frances, and Cadence, and Arissa and Bella? Have we gotten our first tattoo yet. Do you still write? Have we gotten better at writing and singing? Have we been in a play? Is it terrifying to grow up? Do we still think about our bio dad? Is mom doing okay? Say Hi to her for me! And Dad! I guess the kids too because when you read this they'll be 10 right? As i'm writing this their still four. And loud too. I'm scared I'm scared for mom I'm scared that the person I hope is the love of my life might leave me. How do I even know you're reading this? You might've died by now and whoever has this email is getting a horrible surprise. Do me a favor okay? Give yourself a hug. You made it through all of the ******** you had to deal with in your life and I'll be damned if ill let you throw away how incredible you are. Get your *** to the best school and show the world that your ready to rule it. I'm proud of you. It's okay if you still don't know who you are. Get your **** together and breath. You've lived this god**** long and you better appreciate it. Do you still paint? This letter is all over the **** place but its you so you know it would be. Did you ever take up knitting like you said you would? And I know I've mentioned her already in this letter but tell Aurora I said hi. I don't care if we're together or if we even spoken in months, just call her and say hi because no matter how you feel about her as your reading this, the you writing this is so in love with her. Take a moment and make something. Write someone a letter, bake something, just get up. Did you ever get over you're hatred of tea? I hope you did because I've heard some good stuff about it. It sucks that I don't know whats happening to you right now because I would write some questions better for you. Hey, do me another favor and stay alive. I love you

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Y’know I was really nervous to open this letter. I know how bad we were back then and I was scared this would just send me spiraling back. I am...

Srdeca. Ielf dna of i heiwl khtin a eraeyydv rof wlil im’ aerdsc eb ym i. Lal ecsffet eht mtre tayalucl reergspsni ahs out ew od tunrs olgn. Wiht haltyhe dan a aws ovel orsry dlorw ouy dloevwu’ er’ew ldeiv in uyo a,rraou ottghuh rwehe erh woh im’ vree t?hothug ton. Ma sillt ggoin ti dna fro i i eb do a to taceher a ylrael eahv isosanp. Yalerl i ottgne rulty od ’evew i bt,rtee kihnt. Ti oyu uyo san’wt nikht htis vloe yuo had i ’ewev ufndo waht emti but hte dedene hogtthu. Ofr ovel eth gevi dna rfo ulowd owh peleop you lrwdo dnrefis hwo uyo yuo are atht owt eahv ouy. Belal qtnfeulyer nad klat yuo time kldtea sltli irsa,as i rrmmeeeb ro nfc,esar lats to hte dotn’ i ncedeac (ar)ts utb. Olyu’l itnkh hmet erev spot voignl t’odn i. A gte brlapbyo xpteec fyanlil idd otn eno duwlo ew hhualtog you too,att. ’tsi ned a yuo ctenimraf iwchh wdulo oevl t,hghuo meop morf outeq i nwko teh. I ew lvoe cousf oerm on irtwe yptero gahotuhl ddi to ouy ethn vree tlisl. Abd teh uot it lnisfege slhpe egt. I ’therey thiw omevdrpi autbo nad adn nsiggin litsl illsks wlodu yas twigrni htob evew’ hntgsi epnsaitaso uor wree’. Ni a lpay, i i ddi ’its much end thta oedlv rou pu it os joamr won and. Lword td’onse luotet teh ewnh kame ettraeh esnes na for esvgi us. Yscra tlltei a up wonggir is. Iincunstorts yna ’di tbu ibevele tpetry klie rof ere’tsh leryal htaw ouy to ot ingod ndee ton weer’ wlle do. I lwel’ be irest dda tnhik he but er’we lsceo ndto’ ish nwo ywa ont ni twhi adn eerv. Born saw tusj erwe dse’ton dik he it’s we adn npa,i saere ot alllefib ti moiartptn a peolep eht nweh ear liehw htta eermbrme. Mm’so sower gnetot. Onkw osrtw ubt ylswaa hatt ddi her yuor i thgeimarn asw atlhhe iempovr eevrn. Rntoh joe to dna ni oanalric igovmn rssopec of ehs’s arza tihw ncrdgiovi the. Ohw nyol zeilear rsory mntea that oyngu uhtr oto hte thta to ’mi ot o,uy adn wree uoy ryros mi’ reev vloe opelep you rae. Rea okwn azra i o,gdo het noly lguhoaht aoutb idsk. Eaysr fomr edcverero htat was a jntisu ofmr has dan ago yllrae one hoem few our vemdo on. Ltisl tsihgn hwit e’hss aasywl bbay soal( uodl) wognr rou z ’hses hetrse’ eb ot a btu sey glri of olt gonig. Know dsecar woh oyu erwe i. Deemse lla etim got dba i hte who wnok rdak nsgthi nda hyeinegrvt hwo. Kmae mi’ sadcre wonk i retiirgynf i ssle litls hatt leeppo veha loduw say utb gsihnt i seem. And osno tno vilea to inogg ’erwe ntemaiy ganhec at’sth llsti. I ehnt you erndbliiec hnageir rmoe im’ oyu hkint sya shple ldowu iraelez. I reeh rudop ttah a eb ni evne tath be rpoud vlie uyo lwodu geibn odwul i to yaw tkhin fo, me want erermmbe my tbu fiel i you of ot fro dneeed. Oevl ni locl,eeg and nde sol,o”hc tewnsre tsi’ reyall t“eh ton tesb while od i idd pu ew. We aeescbu ardseg ew futsf iazgman rea lelrya aer atmsr baotu tis’ uro henw acre. I fi who not iekl to tub i wlil reve resu i wokn ma asy i’d m’i. Fo na tacula ti tub a,sinops ahppy ehtn edvlo ond’t scpaee an oemr mkaes i ipat,n me i ihtnk it you it llsit ttha aws. It iwrngti so sseen het oudlw eneitr emska lla ayn elalry yrou aeclp fo ovre oto thta oryu be efil is. Udnfo ew ngittink tuo ti mhcu we so eirdt heat dan. Lleh oinnnyga as s’it. Ohw dluwo ownk uoy reh tsih thru m’i cumh ot but to ti aehr ognig ton i ot tou ahrec. To tlsil i su ym inot rtuh adn ni hse sayw feli rytngi let cabk m’i sunedntrda ruesfe to her. Ridmare no i erh ophots n,rlycete tgo fcooebka mmos saw hte hes. So i’m sryor sdereevd dna you ehr cuhm olve hes verne of ti aveg oyru thta. Eht sifedrn i edma ytdaibrh a did bets i ekab lluaytac ady, orf akce oru rehot. Aemn and uyo hsi ihm lwoud cj khint dareo i is. Hte rhadte iwhhc ae,t egt dferignril fro oru ddi we rvoe obatu su rveen shtae. We a dink od eewk oy!)b ,t a hiwhc rfo ryvee s’ti of isectoijnn jneyo we (rusire!ps etnrffedi do. Lcdou ni mtie i kalt swhi nad to go bcka you i. Etg gotrhhu amed i adn pesoirm ngiths etrbte you it tath. To thta yedryeav era dna iefl ryuo os hhirsce yuo yuor’e ehtm avhe in rteeh kyucl epolep. Rw’ee ’nerat hppay we but efrcpte. Rehe i tenh bacesue o’cuvdel mroe gto oelv i owh uyo eyor’u ouy deigiman vere. Peke i tolud’wn ouy rhee gytnri eb fi ’dntdi. Tiedr evne i id’tnd btu saw nwok ttha mgtipen,t otsiemsem wkno uyo i so oto up iggvni ew. Ayteds voel cseebau and m’i uoy here you i.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please


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