A letter from May 19th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, hey... todays date is 19/05/2020 im not sure if ill make it 5 years to be abe to read this but i think it will give me something to look forward to or at least for a little while.. ive just gotten through some rough **** or at least everyone else seems to have but i still feel lost and just not okay like they all went through a door to move on but locked me out your probably confused i guess i should back up a little to when all the heart break and suffering started back at the start of year 6...well i mean of course it was happening way before that abusive dad and all but grade 6 was when i started to understand the things happening around me and all the innocence left me way to young it was like a slap in the face and everyone around me my age still didnt see it cause they didnt have to they werent in my situation and looking back im so glad they didnt cause right now they are all off living there lives happily for the most of it. anyway grade 6 when tay started highschool and dad became an even more abusive father i rlly dont want to go into the details and im sure you or i guess me understands but from then on i was put through torture living in fear or my father showing up randomly at my home my school or nanas, i was also scared of my sister my own ******* sister i was scared she would beat me up or sometimes i was scared of even worse i didnt feel safe in my own house for 2 years of torture but no one noticed cause everyones attention was always on tayla no one noticed me slipping away into a darkness i couldnt control not even when i stopped going to school and crying 24/7 but how could they of with tayla running away and getting drunk and high everyday and mums job at the time was awful and exhausting. by the time anyone realised it was to late it was the start of highschool and i only went for a week before giving up yet again i just couldnt i didnt have any actual friends and no one to talk to and mum didnt know how to help and tay was still doing whatever she wanted so yes maybe they noticed but still nothing was done to help at all i was so deppresed and lonely and i stayed home for an entire year pretty much doing nothing but then something happened that at the time seemed rlly **** but in reality it was amazing we got a new house and just a couple months after mum lost her job but it was good cause she got one that payed more and was not stressful and she doesnt have to stress after going home or stay late or anything and mum finally had time to see what was happening around her to realise i was not in a good place and she did all she could to help me and i love her for that but it was just to late i was still just yea anyway fast forward to the start of next school year i actually went and i made a friend (remi) without them idk what i would of done probably stop going to school again but they really helped me even if they dont know that then i rlly opened up and i changed from the quiet shy kid to a decently loud kid (or at least in my class i am) and just as everything was finally coming together the ******* worst thing that could happen happened coronavirus like wtf why just as i was getting my life together i was starting to be happy i mean i still cried myself to sleep when i wasnt around people but it was a start you know and know im stuck in the house 24/7 and its so **** i just yea idk. luckily school is supposed to start back on the 9th next month i just hope everything will be the same. tho one good thing has come from this whole quarintine i pretty much live at nanas and uncles which means mothers everyday!! lol anyway ive fallen back into the darkness again and its **** i mean i guess i never rlly left it but nobody seems to have noticed not that i can blame them ive gotten rlly good at hiding it i suppose okay well that was a lot im gonna go over some recent life events and **** like that i guess also like questions ect 1)i have a girlfriend chloe shes rlly nice but yea idk how i feel about us she and idk how to put it i rlly like her and all but i dont think you should look forward to your girlfriend finally leaving your house...so yea when did i end that or did things between us get better? 2)animals recently tayla got a puppy called cordi i think but like not gonna lie shes rlly cute when shes sleepy but i had to babysit her the other day and i was on the brink of crying shes just needy and she crys like an actual baby and she bites rlly hard and just yea tay didnt even get her a week ago i think tomorrow will be a week maybe i cant rlly remember to be honest oh and nana also got a kitten momo not to long ago she def loves me the most tho shes asleep on my foot as im writing this 3)hows mums girlfriend rebecca like they still together i mean i cant imagine them not being together that would be crazy if they arent give her a hug for me buut if they still together idk also give her a happy hug? 4)are you still friends with remi orrr you still talk to khodi right? i hope so if you fell out of touch with any old friends maybe take ome time to reconnect to them and feel free to use this as an excuse if you need to i think my last question would me where are you with life have you got a job, a life, a licence, did you graduate highschool are you at uni? Are you happy? well thats all i guess imma go cry for a bit and happy birthday