A letter from May 12th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, hi there. at this current moment i am 19, living with my parents, not giving a **** about college, and working at my favorite boba shop. ive been dating bea for almost a year and a half. at the time you read this, it should be something like 5 or 6 years, you might even be married, or engaged by now. and if youre not, i will literally never forgive you for losing your soulmate you dumbass. or just like, go get married. anyways. its been a very long road. although i cant really say that this point in your life is extremely pivotal, its still important. 19 is very young, but its starting to feel so old. maybe thats why i am writing this to you, so that you feel old. plus we are in a global pandemic that you’ve probably forgotten about. i really want to ask how you are. how is mom and josh and brendon. also have you gotten fully comfortable eating dinner with bea’s parents? like i said though, its been a very long road. not easy. im sure you know, im not explaining anything too much in detail. ive just been struggling with my anti depressants and stuff. i hope to god youre out of the house by now. how is it living with bea? im sure its all im dreaming of and more. i really hope in terms of a career, youre doing something you love. right now, i really want to be in fashion or art related stuff. my mom told me the other day i should do culinary. but i dont think i can do that. i dont know we will see. maybe youre a chef at a 5 star restaurant and im totally wrong. right now my favorite music includes prince, kate bush, lany, wet, christine and the queens, brockhampton, frank ocean, gorillaz, the japanese house, the 1975, the smiths, bon iver, beach house, tame impala, ryan beatty, king princess, blood orange, fka twigs i know thats a lot but that’s not even all of it dude i hope youre getting better at piano. maybe youve even picked up a new instrument. maybe youre better at singing too. donald trump is president right now. im praying that you live to see a woman or lgbt president if you havent already. trump is very very awful and i cant wait to tell my kids about it im typing this on an iphone xr. its coral (which is not a color you would usually choose but your mom got it for you for christmas) i wonder what kind of advanced tech you have now i also wonder how funny you are. lauren is my best friend in the whole world. you know the history and the background, but i just hope shes still in your life, and that shes happy. bea is my dream. they better be yours too. for real i will **** you just kidding, they are seriously my angel. i look at them and i see so much love. they radiate sunshine but they also feel like the moon. theyre kisses feel like honey. i cant imagine not having them. the absolute love of my entire life. also, please keep investing time in learning tagalog. i promise its worth it. at this point, i don’t believe in god. theres a possible higher power to me, but i dont see it as a mystery sky man. i picture it as more of the universe herself. she made us all and all that made us. i wonder what you believe in. overall, i just want to say that im getting happier and im feeling more free. this is my last official year as a teenager. **** is getting serious. however, im sure youve gotten it all together. the people around you are amazing. maybe youre amazing. i dont think me right now is amazing, at most im “good”. but i hope you’re discovering all those hidden things about yourself. right now, for me those are the way that lemons taste, the sound of violins and cellos, how intuitive i am, cucumber water, the way short hair feels, etc. discover yourself because i know it might not feel like it, but theres so much. i really hope youre happy. if not, what the hell go be happy idiot. haha. with all possible love, kim.