Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Hwne fo i si a dna remo didescvreo e,vlo hatt tgnyniha drlow mnnguaielf veer leov ive i telf hnta hda this terwo rtleet ienngeu. I in wlel as am oevl,. Elik eosnpr duofn hwo tbu uoy tghtau ahs hawt nca i eavh reewh up, i'ltl veol a ta ti dne em dmrea nad wnok meak ton'd i ohw acn ltsea eb. Woh erevn to evah ehpatry taobu lyaelr anc i snhteo bda edttiadm i dda am my omm nxetiay nad dan tub be, bneag sntgih. Em asgirnh ubt losa ythe ym kmea did tno feenlisg ehyt eretrg lew,l uimeccmnaot do'nt. Orcny vhea idae si ohw on nhseotly i. Vi'e i owt adn ot aftre reven tknhi aeyr, pneosk e,rsya ew ot'nd ihsdfipnre ophreomos ni rhe renkleidd a. Aer neve tem adn atth eppole otewr teafr kown yteh wen i i tish who i ma onw how wehn ndi'td i htwa eenddif. I tih adn out ob"ys delcla aigna ti ugnh t"eh i roo)can codvi trafe crayz( nevre atth. Ythe ppo ifl,e ni owh ist ot huthgo yfnun my euicnodtn pu. For t(on tub lgaioodzep tidagn you romt,aoem lal laceb ryuo ornfbyid,e to rtedate nad on ym whit woh atet wno tetanb si ot wnet wno tou kenedl mopr my twhi tll)is eht yeht hagsn miet as anoh eac,f netw. Ti rsmmue yuo aemk sith hcsoa ptsa nd'tid htat owert eth. I sdog i isms ndt'o isltl ramneyo him, ikel but. Remreebm i omvdpire uesd vero to ahrd eht ti ikel ot asery, thaw mmo dna its ym hmuc be os. Hse cuhm own, sad utjs ulsgtrges btu ti kames em woh. Medlo it emkas she si a eb fo antw ot em i sda woh ttah ernve. Frmo aws not do hihg i olsohc cetialryn eary ehav simerome tbu bmeea,lmro hermasnf ogod. Ckleailpbl adn uto lesfdi car tokuesm,a at,le htigsn glyipan ningrnu urhhtgo. Esssntu eth hte nad nutrk of rsiednn nagi ni tiwh aursub. Teh epsalou no ivsrde. It far nesroo olas ot ihts os lderpei ogen and fo onw ti tbu i tath im mrof hda sdeukc a hwsi olt, i. Ksome at nuoegh tgrsnait agina all, dcesgrnoini tbu im tno'd nnufy i. Ofod tebert a,wy asn,uxoi - rwryo i its lislt erov ubt yaw litls adn im. Sayd on ym goernl icttased it. Guthfo hhgutor ym htta ni hcloos i elos a akmes afith ni rudpo em ywa i csseusc did dan not. ,of ipaesodhccml ogt i dna ishgtn ehav hreew gaert i i meaedrd to. - i thwa hrda i idd tbu eht ti tbu i het fi yas fo tbes nekw any sti swa gnvie higtr won uclod ot hiecoc. My did ysbonod' iwleah, in knrebo enueyvaltl it rhtea tub npahpe. Erdnif jac,k twhi in utb oslluybtea to uy'do lfdoroe flle iiksgns atesidn bset ttha eb lvoe ish ouy nowk fo. Lel,w 'thsat dnidt' laysp tou yrlale lefi nyfun it but ned woh. I rcurent i reifnbdyo wheevnre ym siks nca. Yug to me ni bene a edpho i awht rfo s'he wylasa. Love 'im ,now i i vleo t'ond ewreh ta lgidubni m'i atwh tbu. .
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