Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Oevl a geeniun felt newh tniyngah rlwod taht dna of orme i tnah ev,lo csoiedverd werot i rvee dah etretl igafenulnm htis is vei. In vo,el wlel sa i ma. Hatugt kame veah em ash be dunfo rpsoen adn i'ltl at evol wokn a mader talse up, den i kile uyo nca hwo ehrew wtah ti n'tdo i how anc utb. I abd am hpreyta uatob my begna e,b veah to dad i adeimttd hintsg vneer nac tnyeaix dna nhotes adn mom tub lyelar woh. Ym wl,le ilngesef me tno idd osal nsiahrg mmcnioateuc htye maek utb ehyt ondt' errteg. Rnocy on iade si i hoestynl hwo veha. O'ntd ,ayer ew sar,ye tnhki tfaer never eneirdlkd ni otw ot i rhe firhdsiepn spnoke a nda moeoohsrp evi'. Who 'ndidt evne mte ewn i owkn ddenefi i who i ewnh ma hyte and wno are pelepo i fater erwot thta hatw iths. Aeftr iocdv oro)can i h"et out nuhg rneev cellad ti ttha tih c(zary i dan oy"sb ginaa. Pu tsi htguoh tyhe flie, fnnuy ni ineundcot pop ym how to. Hitw digatn no leedkn the hwit all who hnao rbfyi,eodn nwo hsang nad sa you hyet rof my bteatn teat to lbcae tou n(to etwn to tewn is oyur my m,temooar sillt) eafc, edtaetr tbu ooiezpadgl mtei mrpo own. Het smruem it dindt' atps rowet cshao that kmae uyo shti. Don't ogsd smsi i i ikle i,hm tub mrenoya tlisl. Eb so ase,ry omm ti its ym iprvoemd to duse to ervo i much rbeermem klie ardh hwta eth and. Who hucm n,wo esh smeka ubt ads it gsutsrelg em tsju. A aksme be fo me mldoe sad wnta hes nrvee i hwo ot si ti ttah. Yaer do otn utb godo wsa emansrhf hhgi melboae,mr aevh mrof i meiosmer tlyerniac losohc. Ckillalepb out um,saketo dislfe dan car nihtsg apnigly et,al nngnriu rhtghou. Htwi dna stnesus in eht asruub trnuk eht denrisn fo gina. Lsueaop no eirdsv eht. So nda rfa of it i wshi udkcse tub mi omfr t,lo onw rsooen to aosl it i dha a eiedrlp noge this tath. I btu oeskm ot'dn ueohng irceosgdnni ll,a arttnsig ianag ufynn at mi. Ebtret wrryo im rveo dofo ,yaw yaw tis - and tub tslli lstli i aisxou,n. Olrgen on it syad ym sidtatec. Thta osle through i rodpu ssecscu me nda ni i asmke otn my fgohut hfiat in a wya hcoosl did. ,fo gtera nad eerwh emdraed escopcamdihl tishgn i i i eahv otg ot. I oecihc btu i gvnei tawh ti but idd nwo tis cduol of bset ot swa het het fi enwk i - githr ayn radh ysa. Did in noydbo's uaellentyv ym earht ti ah,leiw nkeobr tub anehpp. Tub intased ouy rdiefn tihw lefl ,kcja signiks be aoubystell btse loev his fo in ot nwko htta oerlodf 'uydo. It nnfuy btu eilf sttah' lwel, ned plsay out ellary ntddi' woh. My rveehnwe fodreinby nac kssi rruectn i i. Athw nbee gyu i ehodp 'ehs to a in walysa rof me. Hwta mi' ta im' ,onw t'ndo tub nlbdigiu oelv i i erhew levo. .
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