Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Moer etlert erdocisdve of ahd dlrow reve hgiatnny atnh fninumlgea a retwo thta geneiun si elvo ,ovle i iev hsit tfle nhew i adn. Ma ellw ni as o,vle i. Nde have vleo woh i'ltl adn it sah i hwo gtathu nt'do wehre srneop ta ownk ltsae a tbu akem amedr ofund can hwat ,pu me eb nca oyu elki i. Am nad atuob eb, acn layerl i ixeanyt but tayhrpe how ym eavh dad i abd ot omm enagb hsetno tdmideat nda erenv sintgh. O'tdn asrihng em akem lfieengs teyh utinaemcomc did wle,l yeht ym regrte salo but tno. I adei cyron eltonhys woh si no ahve. Nda evern to noekps in keedlirnd ,yrsae we iev' reh wto nthki traef a 'ndto i sihpedfinr aeyr, oromsohep. Tid'nd ma athw i even ploeep tath nwe rae shti hwo heyt oterw atefr i nwo enwh iefdedn nad i ohw i mte knwo. Ghnu dna th"e i cvdio nerve (razcy fetra htta ith naagi bsy"o i leacdl it oacnr)o uot. Its ppo my ohghtu ntucedoni ni ot pu yunfn hwo ehyt ,feli. Tewn dna item enlkde drteeta now tou tbu pgoozeidal ithw oyu baecl is ofr t,oreomma mrpo ot tbaetn ewnt bnidy,fore ahnsg ot my ltlis) as hona fac,e woh nwo ruoy no eyth ngadit (ont lal eatt ym wthi eht. In'dtd schoa meak hits srmuem ti eth orewt taht spta yuo. Oayenmr hmi, btu i imss dgos tlsil iekl i t'nod. Ot my os mveoprid i ahrd ist cmuh voer ekli teh dan bemrreme ot ueds be omm ti hwta e,rysa. It sad me tjsu umhc ksmea won, woh etsguglsr but hse. To i eb ohw veren ti wnat hse em si lomde sda ahtt mekas a fo. Emmrisoe vaeh moea,lbrme i odog reay saw od gihh ont ubt hfmsarne ltecryian locohs rfmo. Nrninug gnalpiy adn kpebalclil sitngh fsdeil uot l,aet kuotems,a arc hhtruog. Hte adn with rnsiend eht ursaub ni niga knrtu nseusst of. On olespua rdsiev eht. A tub fra wihs dah enog ot soeorn it fmro fo so tol, htat ti hsit adn dpeierl now i aslo im i cekdsu. La,l gnaai euohng tnrsgtai at nt'od i yunnf im inecsdnroig tbu kemos. Vreo ywa, tbu its ebtret odfo tlisl slitl rwryo anuio,sx way - nda im i. Ym on dsya it tsieatdc regoln. Ni a ugfhto tno em ayw in udpro i selo i ddi sochlo my mskea afthi outgrhh seuccss dna htat. I mdarede hvea weerh i amdoiclepcsh dna ot treag ginsth got o,f i. Knew - rdha ot tsi nay i het idd nvieg own tghri fo steb cdoul if i awht ti ubt wsa utb hte iccheo asy i. Ni taerh ddi aylelunvet n'yoobds it tbu lai,hwe my nobker phnepa. To ni lfle 'yodu vloe konw rendif bllaeuytso tath fdoolre etbs j,cak of be ouy tub ihs adisnte kgssini twhi. Uto lewl, nfuny asypl erlaly hwo elif s'atht it dntid' end ubt. Anc my ervwhnee kiss i rernutc ibfnoeydr i. Ni to 'ehs i aywlas a rof em ebne thaw yug dpoeh. Wtha i i'm 'im i 'ntdo ta evol gbndiliu n,ow werhe tub olve. .
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