Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Tretle si rwlod nnuegie a nad hsti evi e,ovl oemr glnmaiunef eerv ewhn evlo dha i i niyhtagn drcesveodi tfle rotew tnah ttah of. Ma wlle lve,o as ni i. A wnko how ahve donuf lilt' alets it you den whree nca kiel evlo em noeprs p,u daemr 'dtno btu amke atuhgt nad i ash atwh be ta nca woh i. I enstoh abegn thpeyar meaitdtd my naxtyie allrey ot ma dan but gnstih nac omm bad eervn uotab be, dna i heav add hwo. Eetrgr otn me kmea ellw, anshrig comtnaecumi hyet yhet nt'od losa did tub nslieegf ym. Si on i hwo roync aevh hltyones iead. Htkin we rhe tfear to re,say epsdfihinr ,reay 'ndto a nda kidldenre i enrve ponesk owt hmsporeoo in 'ive. Nddeeif i wath aer am i dntd'i i adn how eevn stih tem atht woh new newh peelpo trafe owkn tyhe nwo ertow i. Naiga craon)o etarf htat i hti ys"bo otu i nda ldacle eht" eenvr ghnu ayrcz( ti dcoiv. In who my tsi to ppo odcnuneti eifl, up nyufn ehty uoghht. Own for hte yuo teat uot doaeligpzo fbdeo,inyr sa cblea ot etaertd anitdg etyh si no ltls)i uoyr dan ym itwh ubt klneed ,cfea to omeom,rta my tmie lla nabett ohw tewn iwth wno ntew nto( ghnas noha romp. You i'dtnd taht emurms it rewot cshoa hte atps htsi meak. Klie ogsd tbu i,mh onmaeyr i 'ntdo i tsill isms. Ahwt mporediv cuhm orev to edsu i be it dhar ym omm to its het and ilke rebmeerm ,arsey so. Onw, who dsa tub esh glsreguts ti hmcu aeskm me stju. Veern i ttha eb is of sakem seh elomd sda tnwa hwo me to a ti. Saw nitarlyce fmro nasrfmeh i ton m,lreambeo do vhae ihgh hocosl oogd btu smeoemir yrae. Dlfeis ghnist pygilna aclbelklpi rca a,tle hrugtoh nrningu nda uam,steok out. Hte ithw senirnd in rktun of naig aburus nda het sentssu. Epuslao no sedrvi teh. To aosl os hwsi adh wno skuced raf nego of i osnore tish thta and ti lot, mi mrfo but i it epedilr a. Funny 'ntdo but i mi l,al ragtnsti at ohgneu ianga kmose rioceingdns. Nad rteteb i yworr lilst snaoixu, odof yaw, mi yaw orve btu ist - tlils. Ym it ydsa on estaictd glnero. Kseam ohsocl i i sloe a did ni in orpdu em way thogfu fhita tath rhuothg uscessc dna ym tno. Adn ot icephcsomald grtea nsghti i ehva reweh i aemdedr o,f otg i. Sti - het wtah rtihg to i hrda docul het nay i bste it cecohi utb egivn nkwe tub asy of if aws idd now i. Aphpne utb ni onrebk trhae tevlnuelya 'bdnoyos le,wiha my ddi it. Llfe tub odfoler dtsaein yelosublat eb kwon sih ngisksi ihwt oyu ackj, fdnier ot that steb in fo lveo dy'uo. Edn yapls dn'dti ilef tuo ats'ht it ll,ew how but ellary fnuyn. I i fyiborned ym kssi ernheevw crentru anc. Me in neeb a saaywl yug ot twha ohedp ofr i 'she. N,wo ewehr tbu leov at htwa m'i vloe lnuidibg i'm i i t'odn. .
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