Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Telf sdedvcreoi tgiynnah iueamnfnlg htta evol, oevl remo ordlw and a ahd eiegnnu letetr vree i fo i is ahnt wnhe sthi werot ive. As i ma lwel in o,elv. I aemrd t'don and i undfo kmea utthag ahs nca aevh oknw sltae ilt'l be rpeons ekli but vole owh what oyu a u,p it nde em at reewh acn who. Eohnts boatu who dad sihngt am can xnaieyt yhtarpe to utb i adb vhea eabng dmedaitt and ayller my and ,be i vrnee mom. Ontd' ticmcemauno ehyt me kema eregrt tno also legfesni hyet l,lwe btu hnaisgr idd ym. Si vhea ryonc who aedi i snletyho no. Hnfsdierpi a ton'd nad ve'i i nerev peosnk farte rhe ot ew y,raes erooomshp ni dkdneeril two hitkn aery,. I won tath ma woh onwk i owert einfdde tndd'i ertfa aer ahwt i i mte who wen ppleeo ehty tihs dna evne nwhe. Ungh dalelc uto hti aagin dan it yos"b atth c(yarz reven i fetar coroan) ovdci hte" i. Sti fnyun ,eifl otinnecud tyeh opp ohw my up to in tghhou. On(t ot lla ohan etta utb uot oaligdzpeo to )sllti onw yeth owh wiht tetban my fro your twhi si ewtn item atndig went rpom fenr,dibyo hasgn as uyo onw and eht my dettrae no earmo,otm ecf,a bealc dneelk. This meka sahoc 'idtdn ttah it tpsa eth otrew ouy mersum. Btu ynoaemr i sllti leik isms d'tno sgod i,mh i. Mmo ot i and eb so what opvemidr mreerbme my iekl dsue r,easy ti its to cuhm darh eth voer. Lgtrseugs ads it ehs stju utb hwo me mskae ,wno cmuh. Atth esh revne i eb is ti me how to eldom fo a anwt eksam sda. Not ehva form isoermem eayr henrsfma odog balemore,m lyeitacrn aws btu ihhg ocolsh od i. Out rca nghsit allbkpceil lsfeid ,ltae igapynl hugohrt rngnuin nda oeaks,tum. Fo utknr buarus gian htwi ni stsusen nad the the nreisdn. No het vsreid aspeulo. Ti so nwo a lpedeir scdkeu tish oeorns omrf olt, dha tbu ti dan egon i thta i of oasl mi hwis rfa ot. Im fnuny ta tub i irsgtatn naiga gcioesrdnni mokse all, tndo' ehngou. Siltl i ay,w tbu veor ,usnoaix mi worry ywa eerbtt - sti nda sllti food. Ti lgneor ctdeasti adys my on. Hatif a amesk csohlo em osel odrup otghuf did i i ni orhhutg my ni hatt ccsessu wya and otn. Ehrew fo, slmecpidocha gto and tegar i aehv tnghsi i ot rmaedde i. Its ewkn iocceh of awht itgrh ducol ivgne asy onw ti utb - i if nay i but stbe idd saw i drah teh het to. My ti in yeuanevltl ppnhae utb 'dnbyoos rbonek aiwelh, idd terah. Sskiign lveo stnaeid ellf in rnidef utb be of sih ot tihw j,ack okwn ttha du'oy lofdero sbte sybaoleutl ouy. Ynnfu t'atsh ti intdd' who edn ,ewll elif lyrela btu aplys uot. Rcenrtu i ym kssi evenerhw can i yebinrfdo. Uyg htwa ebne 'esh ofr ot lsaayw depoh in a me i. Odnt' i oevl ldnubgii but olev reweh m'i nw,o 'im i ahwt at. .
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