A letter from May 12th, 2020

Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)

Epilogue

about 5 years later

hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...

Maigfnlneu ighyatnn twroe voeidecrds hist of hwen i olev tlrtee is vree ahtt rwodl htna roem evo,l a nda i flet adh ive uieenng. As well in am ,vleo i. Hwo i ikle snoper it nkwo be oyu dfuno ovel at nde a and athw lil't ealst tub p,u me erhew who o'tdn can atgthu has acn aemk i readm avhe. Enrve owh nyiaext ot vhea yrhaetp rleyal ubt e,b aotbu nda dediamtt ym gaebn dab add can sohent dan am i i tgnshi omm. Oauenmicmtc lsao mkea my etergr yeht yeht btu inrhsga ddi d'ont otn lw,le ielgnfse em. No si diae i oyrnc vhae hwo nhlotyse. Ipnhrisdfe oeosrpmho osepkn eys,ra her rfate iklenrdde to we nveer ni wot ve'i i t'odn htikn a rye,a dna. How hyet enw wkon tsih ear i won i nehw taht hwta ma enve atref wtoer loepep t'ddin adn i owh mte idedenf i. Frate i h"te htat evner tih eldacl hgun obs"y r)onoac adn ary(cz it i ovdic again uot. Ot hutgho idtnconue tis hwo ym nfnuy pu in yhte ,elfi ppo. Is onw who knedel no to dan ym rtaedet mpor )tlisl ndatig otn( n,bedfyrio eaclb uoy the uot tnew lal won newt tate teim tbu hnoa aef,c aomtero,m orf ithw as agodziepol tnateb uyro thiw ot gsnah ethy my. T'dnid htta uyo csoha esrmum psat ti eht teowr eakm siht. Smsi i ih,m leik rmanoye btu i tlisl gods do'tn. It ist thwa eb re,yas hadr to romdeipv evor my omm so ilke mchu to hte esdu i emremebr adn. Btu hucm ,wno hse ti em jstu lstguregs sad esakm who. Be ot esh kmaes i owh nreev it tath si dsa tnwa of ldemo em a. Eclaytirn remal,bmoe ont orieemsm evha but hgih was gdoo armefshn holocs frmo i arye do. Otu ablcpielkl uohthrg giunnnr lgpaniy tmso,ueak rca at,el iedslf and htigsn. Of hte htiw saurbu teh in sneusst rnukt niga adn rnsnied. No laspeou eht dvsier. I ecsudk swih hsti i nwo far os it sloa of btu ogne nda mfor ti nosore a hatt hda eedrilp mi l,ot ot. Gnueho but naiga dnt'o soekm ta i im unyfn ,lal satntgri eoicrnidsng. Ttbeer vroe ayw rroyw mi i odfo sti y,aw and utb noasix,u - tslil lstil. Etdiscta sayd on ti my elnrgo. I cessucs atht hsloco tfahi i guhtohr in in seol durop a em dan fhtugo ddi easmk my tno wya. Adn sepccioamdlh eagtr i to ,of got emedrad i gnhsit i aveh wehre. Ays ddi but ayn ccoeih i wath fo now saw the i ahrd ist ot ewkn - vegin i uoldc tbse utb hte fi rhgti it. It hapepn ni ulnatyelve tub idd ornekb my bod'yons hwli,ea hraet. Efodlro be olytabuesl cjka, in ot ish evol ouyd' rinedf fo wnko sbet ainsdet but htiw kiigssn oyu taht llef. Syalp llew, ubt fynnu lfei how ryllae in'dtd out edn a'tsht ti. Neerhwve i ncurrte byidonfre i sski nca my. A to i e'hs ni uyg em atwh poehd rof saywal eben. Elov at erhew dinibugl 'im vole 'im t'ond i tawh on,w i btu. .

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