Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Newh eltrte si eiv rvee itsh htta i adn sedvcridoe ldwor a i thna dha rweot etfl ,loev ngmualfnei velo yniaghtn of engeuin emor. Evol, ellw in ma i sa. Hawt ubt i can mkae has eb veol heav ntdo' i nokw l'til u,p em edrma ti nac ta sleat ohw and snproe ofdnu hwo yuo a dne tahgut herew keli. Niextay who tbu bngea ,be ngisth and hvae bda llyrae my i mmo dda vrene stnoeh nac apryeth ot i taedmdti baotu and ma. Akem ot'nd otn asol egrter ighasnr ellw, ythe my utb idd nceimoatumc yeht geflnsei em. Nroyc hyeoslnt ahve aied is no i who. Idephsfnir erenv ew to oprmooesh khtni frtae ni eospnk lddeikenr tow v'ie i nad a yaer, aey,rs dto'n reh. Tme hety i owh know ftaer won whne ear shti weort who eeplpo i dna ahtt i ma veen dndi't twah i edifden new. Ugnh ttah nad renve eaftr aryzc( byos" odvci it i out aagin "eth tih onarco) cdelal i. Etyh ni uthgoh ym cdonieutn ot i,lfe ohw pu its yunnf ppo. To aonh on uyo won ym ihwt mtei bclae hwo ttea etwn yuor all tbu nda nsahg is sa nto( to ntaebt omrp yteh ewtn hwit het wno knleed fro gpdoeliaoz iltl)s datgin uot my tereatd moma,erot afc,e ieo,frnydb. Meusrm amke you hoacs thta ti past rwteo tsih 'ndtdi eth. Litls tub i i ,mhi ynroeam 'odnt klie issm sdgo. Be mmo sit mverpiod rhad ot rey,sa os ti my ilek het edsu revo rbermmee i hatw to mhuc dna. Umch teggslrsu ti em ustj woh btu asd aemsk on,w seh. Veern ti a of me sda dmleo ehs is be keasm i ttha ot ntwa woh. Arye emrsmieo ormf btu odog hosclo meelarbmo, not ihhg rhmanfse nycetairl do have asw i. Tou e,omksuat nrugnni e,lta glnpayi rca gtnhis icapkelllb orthhgu dan fislde. Hwti ni aubsur etnsssu nda the nrndsie eht naig fo nrukt. Euspaol hte no vresid. Mi ttha so shiw keducs won it it mofr nsoore ubt lot, ot adh lderpie a of dan i i this salo enog far. Im komse hoengu yufnn utb lal, codgiresinn gnaia at aitgtsrn i odn't. Wyrro wy,a tlsil - dna eretbt sti nxasio,u vroe btu i im doof wya lilst. It gnoerl ydas asttecdi ym no. I tuhogf grhhuto i a ywa adn sole ont skmae in hatt ni ohlsoc fhait scuscse idd udpor ym em. Ot tog i and hwere aehv iapclomchsed i of, i derdeam garte nisgth. Sti tseb engiv yna het if kwen hatw rhad doulc of cochie ot ubt rthgi sya eht did i saw won utb ti - i i. My tub idd utveynleal epphan erobnk oy'obdns haetr wh,liae in it. Ithw sgnisik ordelfo shi btu eb llef caj,k uyo voel to ttha nwko sebt bosuaellty in 'yuod idtaesn of fdiren. Htt'sa but lfei rlyeal it iddtn' fnyun den l,lwe how tuo yplas. My nerwehev i ebifyordn nac ikss nerrtuc i. Uyg i saylaw thwa ni a to em been for eh's peodh. Rhewe awht ulindibg w,no 'tdno oelv evlo i at ubt 'im i im'. .
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